A little bit of me

An Update: Long overdue

2010-07-23T10:43:00.005-04:00

It is fun sometimes to sit back and muse on where your life has taken you in the last year, to think "what was I doing this time last year" and consider what changes have taken place. Upon doing so, I realized, "it was this time last year when I wrote my last blog post!" So, I hope you can forgive a year long absence of blogging with one quick update post. While many "blog worthy" things have happened this year, I will only share the top 5 things you might need to know to consider yourself "updated." If I forget something, please leave a comment for all to see. :)

1. "Master Stevenson," is that what they call people with Master's degree? Ha! Well, whatever it is, I finally got mine. I graduated with my Masters of Science in Couples and Family Therapy from the University of Maryland some time in August. I don't know the actual date because I never got to participate in any of the graduate ceremonies (none were held in August, and the ceremonies in December were canceled due to snow). Shortly thereafter I got the news that I passed my licensing exam and received permission to begin practicing as a Marriage and Family therapist in the state of Maryland.

2. One year closer to "Dr. Stevenson." In August of last year I began my official pursuit of my doctoral degree in Family Science. What is family science? Good question. I think I am still working that out, but in a nutshell it is an interdisciplinary study of all facets of "the family," including psychology, sociology, public health, and public policy (to name a few). I have survived two semesters with... well... straight A's. Hopefully I can keep it up next year. I have one more year of classes, and then if I pass my comprehensive exams this spring, they will let me start working on my dissertation. I hope to be done by August of 2012, but we'll see.

3. En la selva de Mexico. Somehow I managed to escape the stresses of school and take a week long trip to southern Mexico with some friends from my church. The four of us explored some of the most impressive Mayan ruins in the country. We spent several days in the deep Lacandon jungle and stayed in the village of a native tribe, who are direct ancestors of the Maya. I used the opportunity to conduct a little research and had the chance to interview many people in the tribe. It was an incredible experience that deserves probably 15 blog posts.

4. Marriage and Family therapist, at your service! This May I opened my private practice. I rented an office space nearby and pretty much dove in head first. I have loved working as a therapist again, and hope to be of service to the people in this community. I still have a lot of work to do to get the practice where I would like it to be. But so far, it has been a successful endeavor.

5. Dr. _______ ? Will I be graduating with a new last name after all. ;) I'll keep you posted.

A few quick pics from 2009-2010

Don't "yuck" my "yums"

2009-07-19T00:35:00.000-04:00

Day 9 (July 19)

So... today I will write about one of my favorite topics: FOOD!

I quickly discovered after sampling many Chinese dishes that I am a huge fan of authentic Chinese food. America's version of "Chinese food" doesn't quite compare. I am a girl who likes quality, flavorful food and there has been plenty to go around... with plenty to spare. Generally at a restaurant it is common for just one person to order dishes for the whole table. If all the food is eaten, it is apparently not enough and the host has not done his job well. Needless to say... we have had VERY good hosts (with boxes and boxes of leftovers). I had to teach myself that it is culturally okay not to "clean your plate." I thought for sure I'd come home 50 lbs heavier... but magically... even though I ate to my hearts content, I came home 7 lbs lighter. Interesting. Chinese food... the newest fad diet? Actually, it might be the fact that all food is eaten with chopsticks, which limits the American way of shoveling in the food. But overall the dishes seemed to be quite healthy, fresh veggies and meats, not too many carbs and reasonable prices. Perfect! Anyway, although Beijing has some delightfully "normal" options... they also provide some interestingly different foods... or well, at least they call them food. Instead of going into much detail... I will let the pictures do the talking.

Donkey Dumplings

Other Chinese Food

We went to a market with food vendors. We walked up to look what was for sell and sure enough there was a stick with four tiny scorpions. I looked closely, hardly believing my eyes that these bugs were for sale as food. Just as I got close, the man behind the counter hit the counter and all of a sudden their legs started moving. AH! They were still ALIVE! I just about jumped out of my skin at that point. Blah! I couldn't bring myself to try anything other than a fruit stick. My friends ate chicken heart, scorpion, and a seahorse. We were all grossed out by the whole experience. The girls weren’t about to eat an entire skewer of scorpions, so they discarded their leftovers by sticking them in the grass. As we left a mother and daughter eyed the sticks and asked us if they could have them. Of course we consented and watched as they happily ate up the remaining “food.” I have learned so far that food and tastes are culturally determined. One man’s garbage is another’s feast? Apparently so. But who am I to call one person's "yums" a "yuck".

Street Food

The Temple of Heaven

2009-07-18T13:59:00.000-04:00

Day 8 (July 18)

Today was a gorgeous day. Finally the smog and mist cleared and we could behold the sun. On the downside, it was ridiculously hot! (But at least the pictures are beautiful). Our day’s activity consisted of the Temple of Heaven Park. I quite enjoyed this experience because it was not only a historic sight but we got to sample Chinese every day culture. We saw couples dancing in the park, other singing in choirs, some men playing a Chinese version of chess, and children playing with a toy similar to a hacky sac. I wish I could be a part of their world, for just a day, to see what it was like to live it. But alas, I could only participate as a foreign spectator.

The Temple itself was gorgeous, truly the most beautiful building thus far. It was round and bright blue and gold. I find temple worship in other religions to be fascinating, especially those of ancient origins, because in my own religion the temple serves an important function in worship. It is interesting that although these ancient religions were somewhat isolated from other parts of the world, “temples” are found all over the world. Many, including this one, are dedicated to a God or Supreme Being and certain rituals or ceremonies are conducted in supplication and praise to that God in the temple. From what I understood, the Temple of Heaven was used mainly by the emperor as a place to offer burnt sacrifices (animals) to the God in hopes to receive a bounteous harvest. I couldn’t help but think of the similarities between this and ancient temples in Jerusalem and even in ancient America. It seems that temple worship, although there are many differences, have some core similarities around the world. This Temple was not in use current use, as far as I could tell. For the most part, the people were curious onlookers rather than religious worshipers. One difference about this temple compared to other sites is that it did not have any sort of idol or statue to worship. This temple was built for the burning of sacrificed offerings, as far as I understood from the descriptions in the museums.

Confessions of a Shopaholic...

2009-07-17T16:11:00.000-04:00

Day 7 (July 17)

Before I left for China, I was told by some reliable sources that I should really consider bringing an extra suitcase to bring home all my souvenirs. I generally am not one to spend big money on trinkets and knick-knacks, my souvenirs are my pictures, so I didn't think that would be necessary. But after discovering the many silk and pearl markets that dot the city, I understand why extra luggage would be helpful.

Wow... is really all that can be said about the whole ordeal. Shopping at the Pearl and Silk Markets were quite an experience. I imagine that at one point these were all open air markets, but currently the market sits in a large building with 6 levels of all kinds of things. All "name brand" or "handmade" merchandise that can be bargained down to a low price. To illustrate the craziness that goes on I will share a brief story:

The saleswoman sees her prey coming down the isle, two young American girls. She notices that in an instant one of the girls paused her conversation with her friend and glanced at the lovely coat on the rack. Before the American girl realizes what had happened she walks away with the coat and leaves the saleswoman with 325 RMB in her hand. The conversation had gone something like this, "oh, you like this coat, it is so beautiful so lovely. You try it on, yes?" (girl thinks, "why not, it would be fun to try it on). "Oh it is so beautiful. How much you pay for it. I give it to you for 1800 RMB" The girl laughs, and says "no way." The girl's friend says, "give it to us for 600 RMB or we walk". (the girl thinks, what is happening, I don't even know if I want this coat). The saleswoman laughs, "ha, you insult me with your price, this is fine quality! I give it to you for 900 RMB, my final price!" The girl realizes this is ridiculously expensive and says, "no" and begins to walk away. One sales women blocks her path and the other grabs her by the wrist crying, "okay lady, you win, you win, you my last customer, I give you your best price, please please tell me your best price." The girl thinks, "oh I can't be rude... but really, I can't pay more than..." This whole process goes on and on (set a price, say no, begin to leave, become restrained, set another price, etc.). Finally the sales woman consents to 325 RMB saying, "okay, because we are old friends." As soon as the American girls leave the booth, all of the other vendors start yelling even louder. They can see the girls have a bag in their hands... they are willing to buy. The girls hear, "you have a coat, I sell you another one!" AH! They literally run out of the coat section... and are safe...until they look around and realize they have arrived in the shoe section! And so the saga continues...

So, we will just keep the "girls" in this story anonymous, but you get the idea. Crazy! Needless to say, the experience was quite exhilarating. There are a lot of things, that are actually quite nice for sale at awesome prices, especially if you a good at haggling. Ah! I am still learning but I did manage to escape with some pretty awesome deals. I won't even begin to write about the pearls! Ah! I did however end up needing to buy an extra bag in which to cart home all those treasures. :)

The Chinese Acrobats!

2009-07-16T09:05:00.000-04:00

Day 6 (July 16)

A few evenings after class we were lucky to experience some of China's amazing performing arts. Our first experience was with the Acrobats. This was such an incredible performance... one of those "I couldn't believe my eyes!" experiences. These athletes could bend, balance, jump, lift, and spin in ways I never thought possible.

It was lucky that we all got in to the venue. Prior to entering the theater all patrons had their temperature taken by a guard at the front door. If you had a temperature higher than 37 C you were not allowed to enter. Whew... the Chinese people are very nervous about this H1N1 virus.

The Great Wall of China

2009-07-15T11:47:00.000-04:00

Day 5 (July 15)

Today (Wednesday) we journeyed just outside the city to explore one of the greatest creations of the world: The Great Wall of China! (heard of it?). Lucky for us it was a clear sunny day. Unlucky for us, it was a hot humid day. Seriously, there is no mild weather here in the summer. It is either boiling hot or there are torrential rains. But, I am sort of getting used to it.... or getting used to being wet all the time and taking two showers a day. Awesome. And we certainly earned our sweat hiking the Wall. This thing is huge! Apparently, according to my guide book, the wall has many sections that have been restored and others that are still "wild." We walked on one of the most visited stretches of the wall called "Badaling." It was built during the Ming dynasty and used as military outpost, then in 1957 it was restored and became the first section of the wall opened to tourists. This section was actually very nicely restored and quite safe to hike across. We walked for hours and it turned out to be a decently strenuous workout because of the steep incline. The crazy part was seeing women in formal summer dresses and four inch heels walking up the wall. I don't know how they d0 it. Well, whether in heels or Chacos, hiking the Great Wall of China is one amazing experience!

Chinese vs. American Families

2009-07-14T07:47:00.000-04:00

Day 4 (July 14)

The purpose of this trip to China was to "study" abroad. So when we weren't sightseeing or shopping, we were in class with students from Beijing Normal University. The main educational goal was to learn about the similarities and differences of families in China vs. America and how therapy could be adapted to each culture. The course was taught by our professor, Norm but with much insight from Dr. Fang, the head of the Marriage and Family Therapy department at BNU.

The first day of class consisted of small discussion groups held in each of our hotel rooms, as we had some trouble securing a classroom at BNU due to the potential threat that we carried the H1N1 virus. We started the discussion with a brief description of our families. Two of the three Chinese students were part of the "only child" generation and were very interested to learn what my experience of growing up in a family of five siblings was like. They were interested to know what having a sister was like; did we argue, were we friends? Through our discussion we decided that the main difference between children with siblings and only child families is that the child with siblings tends to be engaged more in their sibling relationship and the children who are the only child are very often triangulated into their parent's adult relationship. The "only child" students shared how they were often the mediator between parents, or how they would take on the role of parent with the mother to "take care" of the father. The social and emotional implications of having an entire generation of "only children" is facinating to me. Just think about how that could be in marriage, two people who were each raised with the full attention of at least six adults on them, are now trying to learn to navigate being partnered in marriage.

The conversation continued, touching on topics such as parenting styles, communication patterns in the family, value differences of collectivism as opposed to individualism, gender roles and expectations, the place of education in Chinese families, dating and marriage, etc. One point that I found to be particulary interesting was that they all felt very strongly that American parents must be very cruel because many will make the child work their own way to pay for college or will "kick the child out" when they are 18, or will travel and "do their own thing" when the children have left the nest. Interesting how these behaviors are interpreted in the US as positive and healthy developmental milestones. It is even discouraged to have a child be too 'dependent' on their families, especially as adults. Clearly independence is a strong value in American culture. However, for a Chinese family, it seems close to the opposite is true. If they can afford it, the Chinese parents will pay all of their child's tuition and school expense. Additionally, the parent child relationship continues to be very close in adulthood, even after marriage. For example, if the child were to decide to move to a new city for a job opportunity, the child would be expected to move the parents to the new city to take care of them there. Interesting. I could go on and on about what I learned. Being able to just sit and talk to the Chinese students was so facinating. Many of biases and opinions about Chinese culture and even American values were challenged and changed.

The Forbidden City

2009-07-13T11:42:00.000-04:00

Day 3 (July 13)

Today's itinerary: The Forbidden City! This popular tourist attraction was a quick ten minute walk from our hotel. The rain stopped by the time we got to the Forbidden City, but we were mostly surrounded in misty fog for the whole day. It will look like it was nice a cool in the pictures... but oh it wasn't. It was hot and sticky as ever. But that didn't stop us from enjoying this amazing city.

The Forbidden City is located in the heart of Beijing, and conveniently close to our hotel. In front of the main entrance is Tienanmen Square and nearby are all of the main government buildings of China. The Forbidden City was built in 1406 and housed the emperors of China until 1911. I can't believe that less than a century ago, these Chinese emperors were walking in those halls. Apparently it is said that the city was called the palace of 9,999 rooms... because heaven is said to have 10,000 rooms (thus, the closest thing on earth like heaven). In real life it has just over 8,000 rooms. This place housed both the emperors of the Quing and the Ming dynasties. I love some of the names of the different buildings, I think it says a lot about Chinese culture: "Gate of supreme harmony, the palace of heavenly purity, the hall of mental cultivation, the hall of literary glory, the palace of tranquil longevity, palace of earthly tranquility, and even the palace of abstinence." All of the buildings are painted red with blue and green trimming, with bright yellow tiled roofs. Although I learned a lot about Chinese history and culture... but I realize that I was not even scratching the surface with this visit.

Freedom of Religion

2009-07-12T22:07:00.000-04:00

Day 2 (July 12)
Today (Sunday) was such a blessing. Funny that the one thing I wanted to do most was attend church in China. I had emailed the branch president asking for information and directions. He sent me a map in Chinese to give to a taxi drive. So my first real day in China, I was weaving through traffic in a taxi around Beijing on my way to the LDS church. The rest of my classmates and my professor went to some Chinese gardens/parks for the day. I was sad to miss out, but I felt good with my decision. When I arrived at church I handed the cab driver 100 RMB assuming he'd give me change. He grinned and just said, "thank you!" It was a moment when I wished I spoke the language. I later figured out that I had paid him double what one normally pays. Oh well.

Church was held on the 4th floor of the "Golden Tower", a large sky scraper in the downtown Beijing. I waited outside the steps not quite knowing where to go. When I saw a family of Sunday-clothed Americans and I knew I had come to the right place. As soon as I walked into the church, I felt at home. I love how the gospel of Jesus Christ is the same in China as it is in Washington DC or in Utah. However, attending church in China had some unique aspects. There are three branches in Beijing, two are for foreign members and the other is for members from mainland China. The government will not allow the two to associate with the other. This branch was particularly interesting because there were people from all over the world (except China). There were people from Germany, France, New Zealand, Philippines, Korea, Thailand, Hong Kong, Washington DC, Idaho, and even Fruit Heights, Utah. Amazing!

Another unique aspect of this meeting was that at the beginning of the meeting the first counselor read from the podium certain rules LDS members should follow in China: 1) no active or passive proselytizing among local Chinese, 2) only individuals who hold foreign passports may attend meetings/activities of this branch, 3) no foreign national are permitted to participate in activities of any kind with Chinese nationals who are members of our church, and 4) religious materials may not be disseminated to Chinese national in China. These are all laws issued by the Chinese government. I guess you don’t appreciate something you have, such as the right of freedom of religion, until it is gone. Interestingly, China claims that its people have the freedom of religious belief, but, are not free to worship as they like. Yet, even though the church is restricted here in China (e.g., not allowed to proselytize) it is a huge deal that we were even allowed to congregate and hold worship services as we did. What a blessing!

After church I couldn't get ahold of my classmates in order to meet up with them. I knew roughly where they were supposed to be. So some of the guys at church taught me how to take the subway and before I knew it I was having a little adventure by myself in the streets of Beijing. I wandered through some hutong and found the lake district. Luckily I didn't have to wander far when they called me. I was still some distance away from where they were waiting and it began to rain, so I hired a man to drive me there in this little cart pulled by a bike. It was fun, but a lot of work for him. The lakes were beautiful, especially at night when the lights from the restaurants reflected in the water.

On the Other side of the World

2009-07-12T01:04:00.001-04:00

Because of certain restrictions the Chinese government place on the internet usage in their country, I was not able to blog about my recent adventures in China as they happened. So, I hope you will excuse me for posting these blog entries after the fact.

Day 1 (July 10-11)

Today we traveled to China. The week preceding this day has been quite stressful. I got back from a trip to North Carolina on Tuesday night, defended my Masters thesis on Wednesday, packed for China on Thursday, and then got on a plane on Friday. This was the longest flight of my life, 13 hours non-stop. I was surprised that it wasn’t as painful as I thought it might be. In fact, my flight was actually rather pleasant. It was made much more so when I realized that the "person" assigned to sit next to me was not coming! Yep, that's right, I spent 13 hours with both a window seat and an isle seat to use at my leisure! We flew up and over the world, over the North Pole, until we landed in China. Flying for that many hours makes you sort of loose track of time. And besides, it is sort of like riding in a time machine; you get on and it is Friday afternoon, when you get off it is Saturday afternoon on the other side of the world.

My biggest worry of the trip was getting quarantined when we arrived. China has been very preoccupied with this swine flu pandemic and so if you or anyone on your flight is found with a fever or flu like symptoms, you can be quarantined for up to 7 days by the Chinese government. Now that would have messed up our plans big time! I took Tylenol just in case I even had a slight fever. When we arrived in Beijing, Chinese health officers boarded the plane and took everyone’s temperature with these little thermometer guns. I held my breath when they took mine, but no reaction was good news. I thought I was home free. I was wrong. I guess in the time that we got off the airplane and walked into the airport, the Tylenol wore off. We had to walk through a second thermometer and this time I was pulled aside saying, “you are too hot.” My professor also was taken to a little side room where they took our temperatures manually. I tried to mentally force my body temperature down, as if that is even possible. But, happily they let us go. Again I thought I was past the worst. But yet again we went through another health check point. I was taken aside another time. This was getting ridiculous. Finally I made it through. I couldn’t feel full relief until we were driving away from the airport. Welcome to China, eh?

The professor from Beijing Normal University, Dr. Fang, and a few of his students picked us up from the airport and shuttled us off to our hotel. The Days Inn in Beijing was such a welcomed sight. Our rooms are very clean and "American", which I know is cheating when it comes to wanting a "true" Chinese experience, but I am not going to complain! That night Dr. Fang took us out to dinner. We ate what are called Chinese Hot Pots. It is sort of like fondue, expect instead of hot oil they use pots of broth or hot water. We cooked meats, veggies, and tofu of all kinds.

After dinner a few of us wandered in one of the shopping districts. I was amazed... it was like Time Square in New York City, only the buildings were shorter... but it sure seems like capitalism was up and running. We walked until we thought we'd pass out and then went home to bed. So being literally on "the other side of the world" the time is exactly 12 hours different. So right now, it is Saturday morning in Washington DC and well, I am just ready to jump into bed (Saturday night). So when I got here, my internal clock thought it was 1am when it was 1pm. But because we had been awake for practically 24 hours, I had no trouble falling asleep at 10:00 am (my body's time).

A weeked of white water

2009-07-07T18:28:00.001-04:00

This post belongs in June, but it has taken me too long to post it. It seems like all of my free time has been devoted to writing my thesis. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, as of Thursday, I turned in my final draft (all 100 pages) to my thesis committee members. So now all that's left to do is defend! Whew!

Even though I have been drowning in my thesis, I managed to escape for a weekend adventure. A group of my friends packed up and left DC on a Friday afternoon and headed for Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania. We arrived to our campsite just after a thunderstorm. A thick mist was all that was left of the storm, which provided a great atmosphere to enjoy a camp fire and watch fireflies. We got up early and enjoyed a great breakfast, then broke camp.

Our first stop was the Frank Lloyd Wright's architectural masterpiece "Falling Water". The people in my car decided not to pay the $18 fee to tour the house and opted on coming back another day when we could spend more time there. Instead, we went to a "free" attraction, created by Mother Nature. The "natural water slides" were basically a fast flowing river over smooth slabs of rock. It took me awhile to psych myself up enough to jump in and give it a try, but once I did, I have a blast.

After our water slide adventures, we all jumped aboard our rafts to begin our white water adventure. As you can see, I do not have pictures of this part of our trip. Mostly because had I brought my camera along, even if it didn't get sucked into the river, it would have been ruined by water. Needless to say, there was no way one could avoid getting wet on this trip. For those of you who know what this means, we went down class 3 and 4 rapids. They were fun and not too dangerous. The best part of the trip was enjoying the company of great friends and being surrounded by the beauties of God's creations! Just the sort of get-a-way I needed! I love summer!

Duck, duck, duck BEACH!

2009-06-03T11:23:00.004-04:00

Just because right now I should be cleaning my room, studying for my exam, writing my thesis, looking for a job... I will write a new blog entry instead. Apparently I am still in vacation mode.

Last week I participated in the annual migration of Mormon singles to Duck Beach, NC. To be exact, we tend to gather in Corolla, but I guess "Duck Beach" has a nicer ring to it. Anyway, for those of you who are unaware of the happenings in the LDS singles world, every year on Memorial Day weekend, hundreds of singles from around the country (but mostly the east coast) flock to the beaches of the Outer Banks. It is never quite certain how many LDS kids are at the beach, but the local LDS branch estimates anywhere from 600 to 800 people.

So instead of making you read my Duck Beach tales, I will let the pictures do most of the telling. But here are my top 20 things I loved about Duck Beach 2009:
1. Volleyball Championship (my team made it to the top four!)
2. Karaoke Night at a local club... packed with Mormon kids.
3. Playing Boccie on the sand
4. Watching movies on the "big screen"
5. Biking to the lighthouse
6. Playing in the waves
7. Off-roading on the sand dunes
8. Sampling various vegan cuisines (the best was the chocolate cake!)
9. Sleeping/Reading/playing on the beach
10.Going to church with hundreds of other LDS singles
11. A mean game of Settlers of Catan
12. Chasing crabs
13. Sunrise yoga
14. Morning jogs with April, Lynn, and Ginette
15. Playing cards
16. Meeting new people from cool places
17. Making deeper friendship
18. Great conversations
19. Sleeping until the sun wakes you up (at 7am) ;)
20. Walking on the beach while listening to "Lucky" on my ipod

18th grade going on 21st...

2009-05-31T20:08:00.002-04:00

Last week I attended a little graduate party celebrating my completion of my Master's degree. The only anti-climactic part about it was that I am not in fact done with my Master's degree. I have yet to defend my thesis and so I was not among the official graduates at this party. But, it is still exciting to say that I have completed all the requirements, minus a thesis, of becoming a Master. You may call me "Master" if you'd like. :) It feels amazing to have finished 18th grade.

During the ceremony I received a pretty plaque congratulating me on my accomplishment in completing the program, and then the graduate director announced that I had been officially accepted into the doctoral program for this fall. So, there you have it, just when I thought I was all done, I will be starting up again. If all goes as planned, I will be graduating with my PhD in Family Science in three years. By then I will be "Dr. Stevenson." Crazy, huh!? Hopefully, by the time I get my doctorate degree I will be "Dr. (someone else's last name)."

Mormon Messages on YouTube

2009-05-17T15:53:00.011-04:00

With all the grime and filth out there, especially on the internet, it is so refreshing to find amazingly uplifting things. I recently discovered the YouTube Mormon Messages channel. This has become a new source of peace, especially on days when I am feeling a little too far "in the world" and I need a spiritual boost. I have recognized more and more the necessity of actively seeking "the good" and the "holy" in order to feed my soul with "manna" from God. And here is yet another way to do so.

I appreciate the artists, musicians, technicians etc. who were able to beautify and make accessible to the masses the words of the apostles of Jesus Christ.

Here are a few of my favorites, enjoy!
(P.S. If you read my blog by email or by Google reader, I think you have to come to my actual blog page to view these videos)

The end is in sight... or is that just the beginning I see up ahead?

2009-05-14T00:02:00.003-04:00

Last fall I ran in a relay race, and my first leg was a straight, flat, and dark 8 mile stretch. At the time, running 8 miles felt like a long way. Plus it was dark (after 10pm) and all I had was a small light on the top of my head that would shine a few steps in front of me. The runners were spread out enough along the course that I was pretty much all alone. Even though my endless playlist of "Abba" music kept me company, there were moments when I thought it would never end. It didn't help that my nifty nike ipod device kept telling me that I was finished. I heard a voice say "500 meters left to go", then "congratulations, you have reached the finish line." I was slightly upset when at this point the tunnel of darkness had not ended. I kept thinking, "surely the end is just a few feet away." It was like some mean joke. But alas... I kept on running. Suddenly, before I had a chance to realize what had happened, I passed a group of people and my teammate snatched away the baton. My long dark and lonely race was over.

Recently I have had that sense of running in the dark, wondering "when is this current race going to end?" This feeling I think applies to both my educational pursuits and my dreams of marriage and a family. First, in the education context, I have been running at full speed for so long I can't remember what it was like to stand still. The good news is that I am starting to see a finish line. Or it could be that I am just seeing the beginning of another race. Two weeks ago I completed my 500th hour of therapy, last week I said goodbye to my last client, this week I had my last day of class, and next week I will be saying goodbye to my classmates and friends. Even though it seems like "the end," it doesn't feel like it. Because I am still finishing up my thesis, I won't officially graduate next week with my classmates (I will graduate in August). And even though I am done with classes, I still have the National Marriage and Family Therapy Licensing exam I get to study for. And on top of all that, just when I think I have "arrived" and it is time for a breather... I decide to apply for the PhD program! So, basically when I finish my Master's degree in August, which was no small "race," I will be starting a marathon as a doctoral student (that is, if I get accepted). Will it ever end?

As for my dreams of marriage and family, I feel like this path that I am on is also akin to the never ending run in the dark. I keep making plans/dreams of how it is going to end, how I will finally jump off this "singles marathon." I make plans like, "as soon as I get home from my mission, I'll meet Mr. Right, and we'll be married by spring..." When that doesn't turn out to be the finish line I think, "I am sure that by moving to Washington DC I will find my match." But alas, every time I think I see the end in sight... when I think, "could he be 'the one'?" I turn a corner and see that I have so much more road to pound. It is an interesting sensation to run in the dark. When the end is not within sight, it is hard to gauge how much energy to exert and how much to save. It is the same with single life, there are days when I have new bursts of energy and hope, and days when I can just manage to put one foot in front of the other. Even though there are so many of "us" single people, contrary to the pop media's depiction of the glamors of "singlehood," it can be pretty lonely. But... I am going to keep on running... in the dark. It's all I can really do. If I stop down now, I'll never finish. I am sure that just like my race last fall... the finish line will probably just appear in the darkness and catch me totally off guard.

Dia de gozo, luz, y paz...

2009-05-05T23:45:00.006-04:00

For those of you who know this song in Spanish... you know it is a great one. Translated directly it means, "Day of joy, light and peace." I tend to sing this song on beautiful days! Lately I have felt like more and more beautiful days have come my way. This last week I was able to leave all the stresses of work and school behind and fly to Utah to spend a weekend with the special women in my life at BYU's Women's Conference. Every year BYU sponsors two major conferences focused on the education and enrichment of members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The first, Women's Conference is held in the spring and attended by thousands of women and a few men. The second, Education Week, held at the end of the summer, is geared more towards couples or at least a more co-ed crowd. Women's Conference is quite an event really... women are everywhere! It is always funny to see the few guys on campus who confusedly push through the sea of females wondering where they all came from. If you were on BYU's campus you would see a stream of women waiting in line for classes, chatting with each other, probably eating BYU mint brownies or busily sewing blankets for a Conference service projects. But few things are more powerful than standing with thousands of women and singing together, "Now Let Us Rejoice!" Needless to say, it is a unique and amazing experience.

This Conference was such a blessing to attend. From start to finish I felt like I was partaking of a fountain of light and truth and joy. The conference usually begins and ends with a combined sessions in the Marriott Center. This year the large sessions speakers were Sister Sandra Rogers, Sister Julie Beck, Elder L. Tom Perry, and Sister Camille Fronk Olsen. After the large sessions, each day there are three breakout sessions in smaller rooms around campus. I attended classes on "overcoming abuse," "pornography," "eating disorders," etc. I wasn't surprised when my sister and mom opted out of these classes and chose less "heavy" topics like, "hope," "humor," and "friendship." However, for me, as a therapist in training, learning about these serious issues was awesome! Hearing how the gospel of Jesus Christ and the healing power of His atonement are connected to overcoming such adversities brought incredible hope. I was reminded over and over of the reality of our Heavenly Father's love for each of His children, including for me. I felt very powerfully that He is intimately involved in our lives and has a plan for us if we will let Him guide us. Among MANY other things, I was reminded of the powerful force for good women can be. Sister Beck admonished us to "fight" against the filth of the world and stand for truth and righteousness. We were reminded by Elder Perry how to "fight" as Christians, with good works, love, and kind words. Elder Perry reminded us of all the many reasons we have to be full of joy.

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for my life. Even though I am still trying to understand exactly what I need to do to serve him best, but I feel that during the course of this conference, His spirit lighted my path... at least for the next few steps. It is a wonderful feeling to know that God not only exists... but that he is my Father in Heaven and that he LOVES me (and you!). Wow... it feels so good to be this happy!

Trying to decide...

2009-04-26T20:02:00.002-04:00

Somehow I thought that I would be use to making "life changing decisions" by now. Actually, I think I assumed that by this point in my life I would be done making them... that my life would sort of be set. In a way I am glad that I am wrong and that I have many opportunities awaiting me. But at the same time, trying to figure out what to do with my life... again... for fifteenth time, is exhausting. :)

I am approaching the big day when I will graduate with my Masters degree in "couples and family therapy." I was pretty excited to live life as a "young professional" ... ya know... making lots of money, working in the city, and not having homework to occupy my evenings and weekends. But now with the current "economic crisis" and I am a little worried about being able to even find a job. And recently my plans for life in the working world were reassessed.

A few weeks ago, my thesis adviser pulled me aside and explained that the department had received additional funding to support another PhD student. She said that even though the application time had ended, the faculty decided that they would like me to take the spot. She explained that it would be fully funded, I would begin this fall, and all I would have to do is officially apply. As you might imagine, I was thrilled, surprised, and caught off guard. I had mentally put off making the "PhD" decision for next year, but now that it has been thrown in my lap I have had to hurry up and make some life altering type decisions.

So, what should I do? I am still not certain. My only and big hesitation is just that I am not sure that this type of PhD/type of program is the type of career path I would like to take. It may be, but I am just not sure... and I wasn't planning on making this kind of decision any time soon. So... if I seem a little distracted to you... I am either exhausted from a late night with my thesis.... or I am drifting off into my imaginary future, trying to determine a new course of action. I am sort of to the point that I would just love someone to make this decision for me. So...

The longest run of my life... literally.

2009-03-25T21:12:00.000-04:00

On Saturday I ran for 13.1 miles, finishing my very first half marathon. I say the "first" because I actually might run another one someday. You see, I have found that there is an interestingly addicting element to running races. I can't really explain it, but whenever I have finished about 90% of the race, I usually make an solemn oath to myself like, "I promise to never force you (my body) to endure 13.1 miles of running again if you (legs) will just make it to the finish line, just this once." Yet, crossing the finish line has an amazing effect on my memory; it instantly wipes free from my thoughts any previous promise of running abstinence. In addition to this forgetfulness, I begin to feel a sort of angst about the uncertainty of my next running adventure. And thus, the saga continues.

The National Half Marathon was a thrilling race to participate in. I was number 6917. The bib numbers started with number 1 and ended with 8000(something). So... it was not only the longest race of my life, but also the most crowded. The gun went off at 7am, the morning was sunny but a brisk 32 degrees (that felt like 27). The route headed straight into the National Capitol, followed the length of the National Mall, and then continued through the streets of DC until it ended at RFK stadium. Miles 1-5 were great. Mile 6-10 were fine. Miles 11-12 were a little long. Mile 13 was the longest mile of my life. The last .1 mile was a sprint to the finish! I did all it in 2:04:56, (I am happy to have finished!). Thanks to Annalee for being a great trainer... and for running with me the whole way.

Top 10 "take aways" from the National Half:

1. "Real" runners know that you don't wear the race shirt during the race. A runner has to earn the right to wear it by finishing the race.
2. Before a big race there is a runners expo where you can buy running gear at a discount price, such as brand new running shoes for $40. (I wish I had known that two weeks ago when I spent $140 on my new running shoes).
3. You can take your time crossing the starting line (there were so many people we were barely moving for awhile).
4. When you get to the starting line area, the first thing you do is get in line for the port-a-potty. Expect a long wait.
5. Stripping is common along the race route, especially on cold and sunny race days.
6. "To Gu" (a new verb meaning ingesting Gu or other sport power boosters). Example sentence: "I gued at mile 7 and now I have a new boost of energy."
7. Be sure to gu with caution. You never know what the mile 7 Gu will feel like in your stomach by mile 11.
8. Be careful taking drinks from non-race personnel. Although I am sure some runners may have enjoyed the "free beer" stations along the route.
9. Neighborhood kids with loud music and hands held out to slap as you run by can be just as "energy boosting" as Gu.
10. Funniest comment caught on video... "Wahooooo.... look at that butt... DANG!" (I think I can attribute this quote to Steph C., still not sure whose butt she is referring to...)

En Why See

2009-03-22T21:53:00.001-04:00

What a week! One bonus of attending a graduate school other than Brigham Young University is that I get to enjoy to pleasures of SPRING BREAK!! (Something I never experienced in my four years of undergraduate school). All of my classmates seemed to have exciting adventures planned, like trips to Spain, Germany, Austria, and even Alabama! As for me, well, I had a stack of work I had lovingly "saved" for spring break. At the last minute I realized that this could very well be my last spring break EVER... so I decided I needed to take advantage of the blessing and do something cool. The conclusion: NYC!

My roomie Holli, and I boarded the last bus to New York City from DC on Monday evening and arrived around 11:30 to the 103rd street subway station and walked to the Manhattan apartment of my sweet friend from high school, Emily K. She let us crash at her place for two nights and she and her roommates were an amazing hostesses!

Tuesday morning was beautiful, sunny, and alive with St. Patty's Day festivities. Holli began our adventures with a trip to the "Top of the Rock" (Rockefeller building) and a glimpse of the St. Patrick's Day parade. I found the green costumes people in the crowds were wearing to be more interesting than the parade. We then saw the "behind the scenes of NBC", which was followed by a double-decker bus tour of the city. We hopped off in Soho and Chinatown for some lunch and shopping.

At the top of our "must do" list was to go to a Broadway music. Holli and I are both avid fans of anything musical, especially musical theatre. Holli lived in New York City for a year or two and knew just how to snag some awesome tickets. We decided to go to the new Tony Award winning musical "In the Heights," but to our dismay the cheapest tickets were $76. However, the theatre was offering a lottery for front row tickets a few hours before the show for only $26.50. We couldn't resist the $50 difference, so we decided to take a chance. Well... after they pulled two names out of the bucket, they said, "Tiffani, two tickets!" I couldn't believe it! But before I knew it we had the "golden" tickets and we were sitting dead center on the front row of "In the Heights." I will not give my full review of the show here, because there really isn't space describe how awesome it was. But suffice it to say that the show was cleverly entertaining, but provoking and moving at the same time. It explores contemporary themes of the Latino immigrant in New York city... with a "West-Side Story meets Fiddler on the Roof" feel. Love it!!

We ended our night with the delectable cuisine of the Carnegie Deli. This place is my kind of restaurant, they serve a bowl of pickles as their complementary appetizer. We ordered bowls of Matzoh ball soup and a big pieces of strawberry cheesecake (seriously the best cheesecake in the world).

Wednesday was another beautiful day in New York City. We jumped on our tour bus in the morning and saw Harlem and other parts of Uptown. We got off at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I was pretty much sucked in from the moment I walked in. This place has everything from crazy modern art to an ancient Egyptian temple, rebuilt inside the museum. Amazing. We stayed there until we had to catch our bus back to DC. New York city is such an excited energize place. Really, there is no place on earth like it.

Just one of those days (part two)

2009-03-10T22:54:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote about just one of those days... ya know, the kind that either make you laugh or cry? Well, today I had another kind of day... the kind that can either make you humble or full of pride.

It started at the same time as always, around 7:15am. I tend to "just barely" make it to class on time on Tuesdays. I blame it on the traffic. But today, somehow I arrived to campus with enough time to mosey to class at a nice enjoyable pace and still make it on time. Class was quite interesting and someone brought amazing chocolate chip muffins to share. I thought, "wow, it doesn't get much better than this." I was wrong.

During our break, I checked my email:

First email:
"Dear Tiffani, Congratulations! I am pleased to admit you to the Summer 2009 Study abroad program in China: Models of Couple and Family Therapy!"

Second email:
"Congratulations on your being awarded the Ned Gaylin graduate scholarship award for the 2008-2009 Academic Year!"

My day continues.... After class I have an awesome session of therapy. Sorry, I can't say more because of confidentiality! But... it was one of those "pat on the back" moments. Following the session, I find out that we are buying our tickets to China at a price that is at least $700 cheaper than planned.

My thesis proposal defense was the next big part of my day. I have been working for this day for months now. I was a little nervous, but mostly excited to be able to have an attentive audience to listen to me blabber on about my research. Well... after much deliberation... I PASSED! Actually, it was a great experience. All the members on my committee were very excited about the project and were very generous with their praise. My thesis adviser said that she has never been to a proposal defense where so few revisions were requested! After this... I was pretty much floating on cloud nine (and a half)!

On my way home I was chatting with my dad... and he told me about a very generous gift he was going to give me... helping me get new tires for my car. I had been worrying for weeks how I would be able to afford that. What a blessing.

My day ended with an absolutely fantastic rehearsal with the National Philharmonic Chorus. We have a concert this Saturday, and I finally feel ready! When I came home... I chatted with my lovely mom and ate delicious leftover panipopo (a coconut tropical dessert).

Whew! What a day!! Now... as I said above... days like this can either produce haughty pride or sincere humility. Today I am overcome with humility... I see all that happened today as such incredible blessings... and in a way... miracles from Heavenly Father! I know that it is He who blesses me in times of bounty... and it is He who sustains me (and helps me laugh) in times of trial. I suppose that having a few days of "trial" help me to truly appreciate and savor these days of blessings!

The "25 things" epidemic

2009-03-05T21:47:00.000-05:00

Whoever started it... it seems to have caught on. The recent facebook fad "25 Random Things about Me" has apparently sparked the interest of many major new papers (see below).

For those of you who might actually be effectively using your time instead of getting sucked into the world of facebook, let me explain the "25 Random Things" epidemic. Someone somewhere... lets call him "Bob"... decided one day to write down 25 random things about himself. This list was posted in a note on facebook with a number of people "tagged" to the note. The chosen "tagged-ones" would then receive a message saying "Bob has included you in his note." Even if you really only know "Bob" through your little sister's roommate's brother, you are still curious to know what they said about you. So naturally... you click "read Bob's note." You read all 25 random things about Bob, which frankly you could care less about. But when you conclude without finding any connection to yourself, you are a little confused. Then you read the "rules:" "if you have been tagged you must write a list a 25 things and send it to the person who tagged you." You might be slightly annoyed at the project... or perhaps flattered thinking, "wow, I don't even really know Bob and he wants to know 25 things about me!" (In my case, it was rarely the later). But either way... you find yourself brainstorming "25 Random Things" about YOU and before you know it... you have tagged a boat load of your facebook "friends." Needless to say... it doesn't take long for a facebook epidemic to begin.

Now is the time for confessions... I succumbed. It is true. After being tagged in too many "25 things" notes... and having a few people send me messages saying "where is YOUR list?"... I gritted my teeth... and gave in. So... here is my list. (Sorry if you already read it on Facebook).

1. I swore I'd never do this.
2. I never swear... actually, I did once when I was 4 or 5. I don't remember what I said, just the look of horror on my mom's face.
3. I am a member of one the world's "minority" groups: Redheads. (we make up less than 2% of the world's population... and I am one of your facebook friends...aren't you lucky!) (wow I sound like a snob!)
4. I currently look like Elphaba from Wicked thanks to this organic lettuce face mask
5. The most disgusting thing I have ever eaten was a particular block of Romanian cheese. I am usually not picky about what I eat, but I found the tip of a rat's tail embedded in this dairy delicacy. (I don't think it was supposed to be there... )
6. One of my favorite words: exacerbate. It doesn't mean what I think it sounds like it should mean.
7. Wow... I just baked the most perfect batch of cookies... from a recipe I made up. Ummm... too bad I didn't write it down... or measure anything. This normally doesn't happen for me.
8. There is something about tall mountains that seem to call my name and say "climb me"
9. When I go for a run my thoughts tend to circle boys and/or deep philosophical questions
10. I have only been to nine different countries, seven of which I visited in a 6 month time span
11. If I had another life I would be a star on Broadway or a photographer for the National Geographic Magazine.
12. Two of my toes turned black/blue/purple after I ran in the Washington DC Ragnar Relay Race this fall (183 miles... 16 of which were mine). I still don't really know why.
13. I have owned 1776 by David McCullough since Dec of 2005. It was meant to be a gift for my boyfriend at the time. I actually had bought two Christmas gifts for him, wrapped them both, and depending on what he gave me determined what I gave him. Don't worry, he got a great gift, but I kept 1776 for me. Sadly, I still haven't read it.
14. States in the USA I have never set foot in: Alaska, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Georgia, Florida, Kentucky, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan
15. People pay me to give them a one-sided emotionally intimate relationship...
16. I have decided that the next time I am in Vienna... I am going to have a man with me (hopefully he is my husband). It is too romantic of a city to do with just girls.
17. Sometimes when I walk alone... I practice speed walking (especially when it is cold!)
18. Sometimes when I walk with someone... I forget to slow down
19. Of the many times I have played, I have only lost twice at the game Settlers of Catan... both times to economists.
20. I have never broken a bone, nor spent a night in the hospital (except for the day I was born). (knock on wood)
21. I hated milk for 24.5 years of my life, but I began to like it fall of 2007 thanks to Starbucks. Now I think I am drinking almost a gallon a week.
22. I was recently told that phrases that frequently come out of my mouth are, "ya know what I mean?" and "I just barely_____" and "I hope ya git feeln' better." These phrases seem perfectly normal to me... but I guess on the east coast they are a little new.
23. I am a snow snob. I prefer my snow to be white, fluffy, and roughly less than 24 hours old when I go skiing. (Actually I will ski on anything, but when you grow up in Utah you get used to skiing on the very best!)
24. I tend to be a pretty fast driver (sorry Mom). However, I have never been issued a speeding ticket. I was caught once... but because it was Christmas Eve... and I was so nice... I just got a warning. Merry Christmas to me!
25. I think 25 is the worst age. I like 26 much better.
(26). I sometimes waste time on facebook. I know... I am the only one on the planet who does that!

Too much of me?

2009-03-01T23:24:00.001-05:00

My last few posts have been random tangents... a glimpse into the thought processes of yours truly. As fun as these are for me to write (and I hope for you to read) I realize that my most adoring blog fans are probably my friends and family from back home who use my blog as a way to keep tabs on their favorite girl on the east coast. So, to indulge you all... I will give you a little update on the happenings in my life.

First of all, I can see the light at the end of the graduate school tunnel. I may very well be in the last semester of coursework... ever (as a Master's student at least). It is crazy to think that these might be the last papers/tests/grades of my life! This semester I am only taking one class at school (about family therapy) and an independent study class "at home" through BYU (about spirituality and psychotherapy). So, what am I doing with all my free time? Ha! What free time!? I have a full case load, meaning I have the equivalent of a part-time job's load of clients. Plus my weekly work as a graduate assistant. But I have scheduled everything carefully on Mondays-Wednesady so I have my Thursdays and Fridays clear.... to work on my Masters Thesis.

Yes, it is true, I am writing another thesis. For those of you who endured me during the writing of my last (honors) thesis, you understand what I am going through. Sometimes I wonder why I am doing this to myself. But actually, most of the time I find the research quite interesting and enjoyable. And after two years of graduate school under my belt, writing a 100+ paper isn't such a daunting task. So what is it about? Well... my title sums it up: "The Prevelence and Role of Avoidance Coping for Latinos in the United States." Sounds pretty smart huh?! Well... I will tell you about it on another post, maybe.

So other than writing my thesis, attending class, working on homework, applying for Maryland licensure, working for my graduate assistantship, and listening to the most inimate and painful details of stranger's lives, I am probably.. sleeping. :) No, happliy I have found some time for friends and fun. I love the DC social scene and the amazing historical and cultural venues available. I am also training for a half-marathon so running ocupies much of my free time. So, to sum it up... I am healthy, happy, and trying to stay sane... at least for the benifit of my clients. :)

(I think my random posts are more interesting... my life sounds kinda boring written out like this... oh well... if you actually read this far... great... you'll have to write me a comment just to say "I did it!")

Feminist out of necessity...

2009-02-23T01:05:00.000-05:00

After posting last week, I realized I may be more like the 1960s "traditional" woman than my 2000s "feminist" self wants me to admit. For the most part, I grew up in a very gender traditional atmosphere. I watched my dad dutifully go off to work each day, while my mom worked at maintaining the home front. These roles are normal and comfortable for me. They worked very well in my family. And the funny thing is, I don't see these roles as "unequal" as some fanatical feminists might suggest, just different.

But... after many experiences that I will not review here, I have learned that I definitely have a "feminist" button (that was pushed when I watched this episode of Gidget). I thought "what! that is so sexist! Girls can do whatever they want, including auto shop class!" But when I thought about it a little more... I sheepishly concluded that I have never taken an auto shop class, nor had the desire to do so. In fact, I still have no idea how to even change a tire. So, I can't really climb too high on my feminist soap box, because I am the product of traditional gender roles.... and I kinda like it. I like being a woman and all that goes along with it. I enjoy being "pursued" by members of the opposite sex as opposed to being the initiator. I'll admit, I like to be feminine, wear heels and lipstick, and do domestic tasks (just as long as I am also allowed to also get dirty, go camping, and play sports, etc.).

Let's face it, I have been learning how to fold sheets, sew, bake, garden, decorate, care for children, cook etc. since before I hit puberty. But, I think I was being trained so well with the intention that one day I would marry a man who had been appropriately trained in the "manly roles" where my practical education was lacking (e.g., cars, house repairs, yard work, finance, etc.). Yet, the older I get... the more education I acquire..... the more responsibilities I have... and the less married I become... the more "feminist" I must be... out of necessity. I can no longer survive as the prim housewife in waiting. I have to learn how to be self sufficient in order to survive in this "man's" world. Whether I like it or not... I have to learn how to have a successful career, take care of my car, budget my money, fix the toilet etc.

But, I guess for all of those single guys... they too are growing more "feminist," by default. Mustn't they also acquire some domestic skills, (e.g., learn to cook, clean, mend their clothes, entertain guests, decorate, etc.)? Maybe waiting this long to get married will be a good thing in the end. Perhaps when we (meaning me and Mr. Right) get married we will be very well prepared for each other, neither having to depend on the other, but both choosing to do so.

A woman is never totally helpless when there is a man around...

2009-02-20T01:16:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was watching one of my NetFlicks of the week, "Gidget, the complete series, Season 1." For those of you who weren't watching TV in 1965 (like me)... "Gidget" was a popular teenage sitcom starring the Sally Field. It is full of subtle political issues and classic gender sterotypes... but mostly just shallow, silly, girly fun.

In tonight's episode, Gidget decides that the time has come to stop depending on boys. But now she is faced with the dilema of not having a ride to the beach. So, she puts a down payment of $6.18 on the "grooviest wagon at the beach" in hopes that she'll be able to pay the entire $300 before she turns 16. In order to learn how to take care of her new investment, she signs up for auto shop class. On the first day, the teacher tells her "shop is not for girls, the sewing class is down the hall." She tries to team up with a boy in the class who refuses to help her based on principle, saying, "I believe the boys should be boys and girls should be girls."

Gidget's dad usually supports all her wild endeavors, but not this time. He can't talk her out of auto shop, so he talks to a boy in her class, explaining that the only way to get Gidget to sell her portion of the car and drop out of auto shop is to give her what she wants. He said, "when a woman is clamoring for equality, give her exactly what she thinks wants and she will soon realize that she doesn't want it at all." So, the boys start treating Gidget like "one of the guys." She is "forced" to get her hands dirty, learn all there is to know about cars... and even pay for her own milkshake (gasp!). This is when Gidget comes to her "senses" and realizes she needs to shape up and start acting like a "woman."

The last scene Gidget triumphantly tells her Dad about how she saved the day when her date's car broke down and he didn't know what to do. Instead of putting her new auto knowledge to good use, she acted as "helpless" as can be until another boy came to fix the car. Gidget grins, and before floating off to bed says, "A woman is never totally helpless when there is a man around."

Wow. Have times changed, or is it just me?

Just one of those days...

2009-02-10T22:40:00.000-05:00

Do you ever have one of those days... when all you can do is just sigh and almost laugh to yourself, "you have got to be kidding?"

Like when you stay up late the night before finishing up your homework and you remember that you left it in such a great spot on top of your computer.... AFTER you walk into class five minutes late.

Or like when you have a special meeting or event (or clients with kids) coming up and you frantically run to the store to buy the only thing that will contain the energy of four children... CANDY... just to wait and wait for them to never show up. sigh.

But then, you are driving home and you are thinking, "the day is finally done" and you realize that for once you actually have time to cook! So as you putt putt along the congested Beltway you let you mind dream up how you are going turn the ingredients in your fridge into a culinary masterpiece. Upon arrival however, you discover that the food that you haven't had time to cook since you bought it two weeks ago... is now covered with a fluffy white fuzz. You sigh as you throw away the produce and eat chips and salsa for dinner.

Or maybe you might drive to your choir rehearsal and, to your dismay, keep on driving for miles until you finally find a spot to park. Then as you quickly walk in the cold to the concert hall you sigh when you see someone pulling out of the parking spot right in front.

Have you ever had one of these days? Well I have. Sigh. :)

New Years Resolutions in February

2009-01-31T16:40:00.000-05:00

Traditionally New Year's Resolutions are decided upon prior to and initiated on the first day of the New Year (hence the name). I don't know exactly why, but for some reason I am making my New Year's Resolutions on February 1st. I don't think I have had sufficient time to even think about 2009 resolutions until now, thanks to my thesis proposal. However, my friend Micah said that I was still okay because January is sort of a free month anyway. And, hey, the Chinese just celebrated their New Year, so maybe I am right on track.

So starting 2/1/09... here are my resolutions for 2009:

1. What are you reading? I once heard the author David McCullough say that when he greets his friends he doesn't say, "How have you been?" but "What have you been reading?" As a graduate student it feels like I have been reading non-stop. However, I am beginning to realize that while I may be well versed in the methods of Family therapy or issues surround marital discord, I am not as "well-read" in other genres. This is disappointing to me because I thoroughly enjoy literature, but I have used the excuse "I just don't have time to read anything else" for too long. So, beginning in 2009, I resolve to always be in a book. I am not making any promises that I will consume mass quantities of literature this year, but just that I will be reading something besides my text books, psych research journals, and my scriptures. I am starting a "to read" list, so if you have any suggestions, let me know. So, now when you see me you can ask me "so, what are you reading?"

2. Have an international adventure. I love to travel, but sadly it has been four long years since my passport has been put to good use. My goal this year is to get out of the United States for a time. I don't know where yet, nor do I know what I will be doing,. In fact, I have no idea how I am going to pay for it. But, it'll happen. (I will be accepting donations). :)

3. Nourish relationships. I spend the majority of my time learning about how to help other people have fulfilling wonderful relationships. Although I haven't found the golden ticket about of how every relationship can be full of bliss, one thing I have learned is that it takes effort. Keeping a relationship strong is like keeping your body strong, it takes constant care and nourishment. This is a message I try to share with my clients, but I would be a hypocrite if I did not attempt to apply these "lessons" to my own life. As a single adult, I realize that it is very easy to be complacent and sort of "slip" into a sort of isolation when you become a little too independent. Interestingly you can be surrounded by people but still be very much alone. It takes effort to make casual friends into meaningful relationships, a goal that will be a focus of 2009.

4. Resurrect my "creative self". Again, as a symptom of being a graduate student, I have allowed a part of myself to practically disappear, the artist. When I was deciding upon my future vocation (as a senior in high school) I was deciding between art, music, and psychology. One decision put me on the course I am today, towards being a Marriage and Family therapist. My hope at the time, however, was that I would be able to continue to enjoy the best of all three worlds. I feel that I have been able to continue to develop as a musician but sadly my investment in creating art has ceased. So, in 2009 I will finish with my graduate program and will have more time (right?) to develop in other areas. I hope to explore a little with digital photography and remind myself how to draw and paint. We shall see what will come. (but don't hold your breath, I didn't say I was any good...).

5. Turn off the Food Network and cook. I love food.... really good high quality, well-made, nutritious, FOOD. I love to watch people make such food, which is one of the reasons the Food Network is on frequently at my apartment. However, I haven't put my "education" to much use. My mom says that if I would just learn to cook... then I could get married. I am beginning to believe her. Now before you start being judgmental (I heard you gasp--"what, she can't cook!?")... just know that I CAN cook, I just don't. There is nothing worse than spending hours on a gourmet meal for you to eat all alone. :) But, that is no excuse, I'll just have to figure out a way to combine #5 with #3, literally.

The rest of my resolutions are more like "To Do in 2009", things that can be checked off when they happen, but still definitely worth listing.

1. Run a half-marathon (already signed up. March 21st!)
2. Successfully write and defend my Master's Thesis
3. Graduate with a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy
4. Start my career as a therapist (and/or just find a job to pay off student loans)
5. Decide where to live for the next two years
6. Tour all the Smithsonian Museums in DC (and other "must sees" in DC)
7. Finish 1776 (I have owned the book for three years now)
8. Meet the "man of my dreams"*
9. Get married*
10. Have a beautiful family**

* 8-10 have been on my list for awhile, so that is why they are at the bottom, not because they lack importance.
**10 might be a little tough to squeeze into 2009. But, hey it could happen. :)

American History in the making...

2009-01-25T18:09:00.000-05:00

Jan 20, 2009: 56th presidential nomination of our 44th president, Barack Obama.

There are experiences so powerful that one cannot be adequately captured it by pictures. I tried. I promised my parents that I would take a million pictures of this historic event. But when I came home and glanced through the images, I was a little disappointed. The scenes on TV and on my camera just didn't quite grasp the exhilaration and awe that buzzed through the air on January 20, 2009 on the front lawn of the United States Capitol Building.

Today was the day... the day that thousands had hoped and prayed would come. The day that many never dreamed possible. Today was the presidential inauguration of the 44th President of the United States Barack Obama. Why so special? I mean, this happens every four years right? This question rolled around in my mind as I waited in mile long lines and as I pushed my way through the hoards of people on my way to the National Mall. When my fingers became numb with cold, I wondered... why are we all here? What is really so special about this day? I think the significance of this event is different for each individual who attended the ceremonies or watched them from around the world. For many reasons, Obama has become a symbol of hope and of possibility for those who, for so many generations, have felt such things were impossible in our world. Witnessing the first biracial president take office is significant to me because I see it as symbol of progress, a huge step forward in the war against discrimination and racism. But, this is my perspective as a white girl. I don't pretend to understand the depth of meaning and importance this day holds for so many who have felt slighted and discriminated against, whose heritage is from slaves or from racially diverse immigrants. I listened to members of the crowd share stories of times when they marched for civil freedoms, or when their grandparents worked as slaves. What I could see was the excitement and hope in so many people's eyes on this historic day.

The privilege to participate in such a historic event was given to me in part by my dad's civic service. He has been serving as Mayor of Fruit Heights for several years now, a position that come with a few connections in high places. Shortly after the Obama won the election he talked to Senator Bennett to see if he could get tickets. I don't know how exactly, but I ended up with four tickets to the inauguration, two of which were in the central (and very coveted) seated section. I learned how special these tickets were the day I got them.

The day I picked up the tickets I wandered into the National Museum of Art and plopped down on a soft couch to take a look. As soon as I opened the envelope and man noticed me and sat down next to me.
Man: "So, I see you have tickets to the inauguration."
Me: "yep!"
Man: "I have a ticket as well. What section are you in?"
Me: "Oh, well let's see... this map says that I am orange section 12. I guess that puts me right in the center seated section. What about you?"
Man: "Wow! how did you get one of those tickets!? My friend is a member of congress and he only could get me a standing ticket! I see you have two tickets? Who gets the other one?"
Me: "I don't know yet. I think a million people want it, huh?"
Man: "I'll buy it from you!"
Me: (thought: yeah right). "ummm... I think that is against the law. no thanks."

Needless to say... I realized from this experience (and a few others) how cool it was to have these tickets. Thanks Dad! (and Senator Bennett)!

The day of the inauguration came. As residents of the DC area, we had be hearing about preparations for this day for weeks! Over two million people were expected to attend.There were signed just outside the district saying "No parking in DC." The metro system was expected to be running at its peak capacity, but even still long lines were expected. Luckily for us, one of my friends, April, had the right connections and invited a group of us to sleep overnight in her office building, which happens to be a block in front of the white house. After a fun night of games and conversation, we settled down to sleep on the floor in a vacant office. I woke up at 5:00AM, and looked out the window and already saw streams of people heading to the mall. I knew it would be a crazy day.

We left the building at 7AM and began our journey to the security entrances. Micah and I left Holli and Joseph at the silver ticket entrance and we did a mixture of pushing through crowds and sprinting in order to get to our orange ticket line. After several hours we finally made it in. Micah and I were so excited to get our seat we didn't even pause when some lady started yelling that "Tom Hanks just walked into that port-a-potty"! As we found our seats I was at first in awe by the scene in front of me... the presidential platform and the Capitol, so close! But I was almost speechless when I turned around to behold the scene behind me.

Literally millions of people were covering the mall. People were crowding together, hanging off statues, standing on distant buildings, and even standing on the frozen reflecting pond. Later I found out that many of these people had arrived as early as 4am to get a mile away from the Capitol. But everyone wanted to be able to say "I was there." From what I heard people were selling Obama gear, singing, praying, shouting... you name it. The entire mall was full. The city had brought in over 5,000 port-a-pottys. But for a crowd of this size, they estimated that would be one potty per 300 people. So, yep there were lines everywhere.

My crowd was a little bit different. Everyone was very excited, but it was a little more contained. It was amazing to hear the reactions for miles behind us from the masses. One such moment was when the announcer said, "the audience may now take their seats." We all sat, not thinking much of it. Everyone else laughed (all 2 million).... as if to say, "Ha, what seat!?" Another amazing moment was when the audience began to roar at the sight of the motorcade, the Obama children, Michelle, and Mr. President himself. A few times chants included "Yes we can!" and "OBAMA." (I couldn't help compare it to a scene in Evita when the crowd is chanting PERON... almost frighteningly similar). Another crowd reaction, that, I must say, was quite disappointing, was when President and Laura Bush was received with "boooos." It is my opinion that one should respect the office he holds and acknowledge the service he has given. If you should choose not to applaud, that is one thing, but to display such disdain was quite upsetting for me. Such a display indicated to me that the overwhelming display of patriotism of the masses was not for "America" but for Obama. There is a difference and a little bit scary to me.

The highlight of the entire day was hands down Obama's inaugural address. I was reminded what it means to be an American. I was impressed by how the people around me responded, with head nods, cheers, and tears. Obama has a long, and difficult road ahead of him. But one thing I was reminded of today is that a good leader is truly one who leads the people, not one who is just expected to do all the work himself. The people were rallied behind him and ready to "pick themselves up, dust themselves off..." and get to work! The only trouble is, we now have the motivation, but are not sure what to do. We'll see what comes.

I came home from the 2009 inauguration exhausted, half frozen, but in awe for the opportunity I had to partake in such a monumental event in American History. May it be a day that we look back on as a turning point for good.

About a month late...

2009-01-18T15:46:00.000-05:00

So... I apologize that this post is about a month late. I had such a wonderful time at home doing anything but work that since I have been back to DC, I have not had time to do much of anything besides work. Lame. Oh well. Anyway, here is a quick synopsis of my Christmas break via pictures. A picture can say it better than words. But just know that this Christmas was magical, full of fun family memories. Enjoy!

Christmas Preparations

Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

After Christmas Fun

West Side Story

2009-01-16T23:57:00.000-05:00

So, last weekend my roommate and I bought ourselves a little "after Christmas" gift: tickets to one of the greatest shows in musical history, the revival of "West Side Story." This Tony award winning musical was first performed in 1957 in The National Theater in Washington DC, the very theater in which we were audience members. The show was absolutely fantastic. Bernardo was played by a Venezuelan, so he won my approval before he stepped on the stage (I am biased). :) But Maria, who was amazing, was from Argentina, giving the show a truly Latin appeal. In addition to the "real life" Latino origins of the performers, the director, Arthur Laurents, ensured that the show would produce authentic feel by including several scenes and songs in Spanish. I LOVED it... but I think those who aren't fluent in Spanish enjoyed it as well.

On our way home on the metro, Holly and I were deep in conversation about the production. I think were discussing the political and social repercussions such a storyline could have had when it was first performed in the 1950s. Soon another lady noticed our program and began to comment about the show. She asked our opinion about "good seats" because she was taking her friend to see the show next week. I noticed a man paying close attention to what we were saying and finally, as if he couldn't resist, jumped in. He explained that the best seats were in the front row of the Mezzanine because those are the seats the friends and family of the actors gets. Holly asked him, "oh, is that where you were sitting?" He replied, "Nope, I am in the show. I am one of the sharks." Too bad we had just reached his stop, I would have asked for his autograph. But oh well, we can still brag that we met one of the performers.

So, if you missed it... too bad because I think its last night in DC is tomorrow. However, I think they are headed for Broadway... where I am sure it will be a hit.

ah... the life of a redhead.

2008-12-11T22:49:00.000-05:00

We redheads make up less than 2% of the world's population. So don't you feel lucky that you know an all natural red head! :) And apparently we are an endangered species... some guess that redheads will be extinct by 2060 (see article). I hope not. Well, I guess by then my red hair will have changed to a beautiful white, if I am still alive. :) But some guess that based on the way our genes work, unless my future husband has a "red head" gene, the human race could potential loose the joys of having redheads in their midst. Which would be sad.... wait, it would be tragic! But no worries... I just found an article online saying that redheads won't go extinct, unless there is a huge disaster that kills everyone carrying the redhead gene. Phew! Here is the link. I still hope that I will have a least one redheaded child, ya know, just to do my part in continuing a legacy of redheads. Funny thing is, I am the only one in my family and extended family who has red hair. I did some research and only my great maternal aunt had red hair and my uncle grows a reddish beard, that's it. :) So many people asked me when I was little, "where did you get that beautiful red hair?" What a strange question. My reply, "it came with my head."

Because I am a member of this minority group, it is not unusual to get a lot of attention for this feature. I am used to it by now. A little more than a year ago, I did something pretty crazy and chopped off over a foot of my hair (14 inches to be exact). You can read about it and see pictures here. I remember several people being honestly upset over the incident. I thought my boyfriend at the time would have a heart attack when I told him. But, the majority were just shocked, but would cover it up by saying how much they loved it. Who knows if they were lying. :) Since then, I have been in the slow and steady process of letting my hair grow. Some of my friends at school have made comments like, "I just can't wait for your hair to be long again!" I can't wait either, especially because my hair has entered the awkward medium length. I am also reminded by "culture" and specific individuals how "guys love girls with long hair." So, I guess if I want to ever have that redheaded child, I'll need to keep it long? The medium length is a dangerous zone because now short hair styles look so cute and tempting. I begin to get the urge to do something crazy and dramatic to my hair. Then I think back at the PTSD-like symptoms that occurred after I went through the trauma of the first big chop and I hesitate. So, before I make any rash decisions, I'll see what you think. Here are my options:

MEDIUM

LONG

SHORT

Handel's Messiah

2008-12-07T21:30:00.001-05:00

This weekend I had the opportunity to sing, with the National Philharmonic Chorus, George Frideric Handel's greatest work, "The Messiah." Last Christmas was my first time ever experiencing the entire work as it was meant to be performed, with full orchestra and chorus and professional soloists. Needless to say I was thrilled to be a part of the production again this year.

"The Messiah" is best know for its Hallelujah, sung by the chorus. It is one that is often performed during the Christmas season. Interestingly, this chorus is not a tribute of the birth of Jesus Christ, but more an exclamation of joy for His resurrection and eternal ministry. The text is in English and is drawn from parts of the book of Revelation.

I think because of my familiarity with the piece, I had not taken the time to consider the meaning Handel was trying to communicate when he wrote this music. Tonight as I began the piece with the classic phrase "Hallelujah" I wondered, "why we are singing this shout of joy?" The next phrase of text answered my query, "for the Lord God Omnipotent reineth" (Rev 19:6). Can you just take a moment and take in that eternal truth? Wow! The validity of these word penetrated my heart further as we sang on... "the kingdoms of this world are become the kingdom of our Lord, and of his Christ" (Rev 11:15). I was reminded of the reality of Christ's humble ministry on earth, but also of his literal second coming and his eternal rein. I can't really express to you in words the exhilarating feeling I had when that statement became real to me... but it made me want to sing "Hallelujah" with joy. How glorious that He truly is the "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" (Rev 19:16) and will "rein forever and ever" (Rev 11:15).

It is not every day that I get the chance to testify so boldly and so beautifully of the reality of the Savior of the world, even Jesus Christ. I am thankful that Heavenly Father inspired Handel to compose such a glorious piece. I hope the members of the audience could feel the power of these words as I did. But even if they did not, this moment will be stored in my memory, among so many other witnesses by the spirit, that Jesus Christ lives and is my Savior and the Savior of the world. His kingdom has begun to be established in these latter-days. I am eternally grateful to be a part of this great and marvelous work, even if today my meager contribution was only raising my voice in praise to His name.

A Season of Gratitude

2008-11-30T22:54:00.000-05:00

Gratitude: "an uplifting, exalting attitude... Be thankful for the wonderful blessings that are yours... Let a spirit of thanksgiving guide and bless your days and nights. Work at being grateful. You will find that it yields wonderful results" (True to the Faith, p. 78-79).

Many times I hear others say, or perhaps I say myself, "I didn't realize what a blessing I had until it was gone!" This may be in reference to a loved one, a season of life, one's abilities, or a dear friendship. What a shame that we waited until what we had was lost before we could understand its value and meaning in our life. Although it is appropriate that at times of loss we look back and recognize the meaning of the lost blessing, I think that perhaps this is evidence of not appreciating it when it was ours to enjoy. When we are regretting the past or dreaming too much of the future, we tend not to savor the present joys of our lives. I have found that, as a young single adult, many times my thoughts are focused so much on "the goal" (e.g., eternal marriage) that I fail to recognize the present blessing available to me at this time of my life.

However, this Thanksgiving season, I pondered on the meaning of gratitude for me presently in my life. As I began to ponder my blessings, I realized that my life is full of opportunities and blessings that will not be so easily accessible once I have achieved "the goal" of eternal marriage. Heavenly Father has commanded us to be grateful, to uplift and exalt our attitudes, to rid our lives from feelings of bitterness, resentfulness, and regret. When we are grateful we can joyfully experience the miracles of life. So, in the spirit of the season... both a season of thanksgiving... and a season as a young single adult... I will share with you a few of those blessings I treasure.

A testimony restored gospel of Jesus Christ
The Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, Old and New Testaments, words of living prophets
The temple
The ability to attend the temple as often as I like (without worrying about a babysitter, etc.)
Having had the opportunity to serve a mission in Venezuela and work at the MTC
Having good parents who taught me to keep the commandments of God
Specific commandments: law of chastity, word of wisdom, sabbath day observance
Good health, being young and able bodied
Being able to go running for as long and whenever I like
Close friends, both girl and guy friends
Advanced Educational opportunities (time, energy, and means to dedicate to learning)
Career opportunities
Singles Ward (what could be better than a Munch 'n Mingle after church?)
Time to develop my talents
Opportunities to "see the world"
Temporal blessings (my car, my apartment, my clothes etc.)
Amazingly delicious food... when I can afford it or have time to make it.
Being able to choose my schedule, living location, career etc.
Being able to live in such a cool place (Washington DC)
Freedom, being born an American citizen
Loving healthy family -- two parents and siblings who I love
Knowing from personal experience that Heavenly Father lives, loves me, knows me, and is an active part of my life.

An evening of music

2008-11-15T17:13:00.000-05:00

Recently I participated in a musical gathering of talented DC young professionals/students at the Washington DC Temple Visitors Center. This event was the creation of Amy Butler, who is probably the most talented musician of the night. She has been hosting informal "recitals" in her home to give her friends the opportunity to both perform and enjoy each others' talents. However, the last time she held the event in her home, there was hardly room to fit all of the people. Thus Amy decided to move the event to a larger arena. I jumped on board and helped where I could to make plans and "discover" the talent in our area. We came up with an impressive roster of performers.

Amy and I weren't the only ones working behind the scenes. The evening of music was somewhat "sponsored" by the missionary committee in our ward. Our hope was that our friends who are not members of the LDS church would feel comfortable attending a "secular" concert in the DC Temple Visitors Center and have a positive experience with the church members. Therefore we had additional help from the ward mission leader, Eric Cragun, the sister and elder missionaries assigned to our singles ward, and the other missionaries in the Visitors Center. Russ Bowers also played a big part in providing technical support and Brittany Watson was our gracious hostess and did a great job introducing each piece. Amy Butler arranged the music for several pieces, was in charge of coordinating and conducting countless rehearsals, and organized the entire evening. We couldn't have done it without her!! A big thanks to everyone who helped, participated, and applauded!

The evening was a smash hit! Well, I don't know if that is an exaggeration, but I sure enjoyed it! I am so impressed by the talent that we congregated that night. The music included the classical to contemporary, both vocal and instrumental. Below is a list of the performers:

Marissa (piano solo)
Brittany (cello solo: Vocalise)
Mary & Miranda (vocal duet: Flower Song)
Amy (piano solo)
Maria (vocal solo: Schubert art song)

Mixed Triple Quartet (vocal ensemble: This is the Christ)
Men's Quartet (vocal ensemble: Voice of the Children)

Michelle (vocal solo: Unexpected Song)
Tiffani, Brittany & Amy (vocal solo with cello & piano: Only Hope)
Dallas (vocal solo, piano, and harmonica: Piano Man)

Sing-a-long led by Amy
Marianne, Lynn & Wendy (vocal trio with guitar: One Voice)
Tiffani, Eve, Lynn, Amy & Brittany (vocal solo with flute, cello, clarinet, and piano: Homeward Bound)

Men's Quartet (vocal ensemble: Irish folk song)
Mixed double quartet (vocal ensemble: Hard Times)

Here are a few samples of the night's performances. Enjoy! I'll post more as I get them. :)

Homeward Bound

Hard Times

on love and pain...

2008-11-07T23:40:00.000-05:00

Now, I don’t claim to be a doctor or a medical student, but from what I understand about pain, it generally serves us as a function of warning or protection. Generally when pain arrives, its job is to prevent us from further endangering ourselves. Although pain can be… well, painful… it can be useful and potentially save our lives. For example, when we place our hand on a hot stove, the resulting sensation is pain. This pain helps our body react in a way to prevent the hand from further injury. In addition, this painful episode becomes a learning experience to prevent us from placing our hand on a hot stove in the future. In fact, if it is extremely painful, we might be weary of even getting near a stove. Ah, the genius of the human body!

Now, upon reflecting on the usefulness of pain, I began to wonder about another type of pain. This has been referred to by romantics as “heartache.” This kind of pain can come as a result of “heart break;” – which is an interesting phenomena in and of itself. The physical organ of the heart never actually breaks... it continues pumping blood as usual… but there tends to be an acute pain, a sort of aching feeling, in the region of the heart. This sensation is typically preceded by a simple phrase like, “I don’t love you anymore” or the beloved, “let’s just be friends.” You all know what I am referring to, the break-up. So, if you are so blessed to never have experienced such an emotion or gone through such an event, you may stop reading now. For the rest of us, my question is thus: what is the purpose of this kind of pain?

I have always been taught by society and scripture that love is the noblest of virtues. Shouldn’t we all be striving to “love everyone?” But then comes a dilemma. Observe the following “case example”:

Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Both love (a verb) the other. One day boy (or girl) changes his (her) mind or decides not to love the girl (or boy) anymore. Girl (or boy) is heartbroken (aka pain). This pain serves its purpose (warning and protection of future pain) and for a long time prevents girl (or boy) from getting near “love” again. When she (he) meets her (his) next potential romantic partner, she (he) hesitates because of the memory of the previous pain.

Thus the previous pain becomes an inhibitor for future relationships and therefore a hindrance to loving again. Why is this so? I understand the utility of physical pain in protecting us from bodily harm, but what role does pain that comes from broken relationships serve... other than getting in the way of our ability to love the next person?

As a therapist in training, specializing in relationships, such questions often settle in my mind. Unfortunately, questions such as these are not easily answered by science. If you have any thoughts, feel free to share.

Walkin' In Memphis

2008-11-02T22:30:00.000-05:00

This year the AAMFT National Conference was held in Memphis, TN. Our department offers to pay our expenses if we choose to present research at a conference... so we (Ken, Leidy, Damian, and I) prepared a poster presentation regarding how social support plays a role in buffering against the risks for partner violence in African American couples. Although we were hammering out the final details up until the very last minute, we managed to get the poster up in time and present research worthy of including on our CVs. (which is what it is all for, right? just kidding).

Anyway... besides the research... we Marylanders had a great time in Memphis. The fun included literally walking in Memphis, but not in blue sued shoes, as the famous song suggests. We ate BBQ ribs and then listened to the blues at the famous BB King's Blues Club located on Beale Street. We had our share of Halloween fun watching the crazy and creative costumes walk up an down the street. The one that caught my and Ken's attention were two guys dressed in white shirts, ties and bike helmets. Yep... you guessed it... "Mormon" missionaries. We were pretty sure they weren't real missionaries because one was holding a Jehovah's witness book and they were both drinking beer. Interesting, nonetheless.

As for the conference itself, it was very refreshing to be surrounded by people who, for the most part, are dedicating their lives/careers to alleviate, at least to some degree, the pain and sorrow of others. I met dozens of people with sincere desires to help. I can't imagine anyone going into the field of therapy "for the money." I was also pleased to attend several sessions regarding the place for spirituality in therapy. Surprisingly to me, there were many therapists who recognized the importance of spirituality in the lives of their clients and the need to become more sensitive and better trained in facilitating spiritual exploration and growth. It was helpful to learn more skills and techniques in this area, however, for me it was more beneficial to just realize that there are others out there like me, striving and struggling to do what is right as best as we can understand it. I learned that the liberal perspectives held by the faculty and students in my program are not necessarily "the way things are." This brings me hope for my future career as a therapist and a member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

A fine, fine line...

2008-10-26T22:35:00.000-04:00

I don't know why, but I have had this song stuck in my head constantly for the last two days! It was even running through my mind when I woke up this morning. Although it comes from a pretty risque musical, Avenue Q, (which I have not seen), perhaps some of these words hold truth:

There's a fine, fine line
between a lover and a friend
There's a fine, fine line
between reality and pretend.
And you never know 'till you reach the top
if it was worth the uphill climb.
There's a fine, fine line between love...
and a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line
between a fairytale and a lie.
And there's a fine, fine line --
between "you're wonderful" and "goodbye!"
I guess if someone doesn't love you back...
it isn't such a crime,
but there's a fine, fine line between love...
and a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time
to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know
what you're looking for.
For my own sanity,
I've got to close the door
-- and walk away.

There's a fine, fine line
between together, and not.
And there's a fine, fine line
between what you wanted and what you got.
You've gotta go after the things you want
while you're still in your prime...
There's a fine, fine line ---
between love --- and a waste of time.

(Music and Lyrics by Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx)

A weekend with Mom...

2008-10-24T13:21:00.000-04:00

I have been in Washington DC for over a year now, and my mom finally was able to visit me! She was here for just a few days, but we took advantage of every second! Our first stop was the Inner Harbor in Baltimore. We were a little lost at first, but we found our way (after calling Eric). We wandered around the harbor and sampled the cuisine of a great seafood restaurant (too bad we didn't order fish).

Sunday was wonderful. Mom came to church with me where she met my family away from home. Later that night Mom and I prepared an amazingly delicious meal to share with some of my friends. We served beef brisket, greek salad, roasted veggies, biscuits, and for dessert we had a slice of pineapple with a scoop of coconut gellato, garnished with a raspberry and a coconut shortbread cookie! I should have taken pictures. Oh well. Where's the Food Network when you need them. :) Later that night, we went to a "why I believe" fireside at the Washington DC temple.
On Monday we started our day with a quick tour of my campus, my second home away from home. My mom met some of my classmates and got to see a little of how I spend most of my time. We also stopped at the Stathmore Center, where I perform with the National Philharmonic Chorus.

Next we went to Mount Vernon, estate of our first president, George Washington. The weather was perfect, sunny with a slight chill in the air. Lovely! We enjoyed wandering the gardens and eating at the Inn. Our only disappointment was when all the tickets to the National Treasure tour were sold out. Sad. Oh well.

Our next stop was in Old Town Alexandria. I think this place is one of the loveliest spots in Virginia. We walked along the waterfront and listened to street performers. We wandered through the Torpedo Factory, a massive art studio that houses dozens of local artists. We meandered through a few shops. Then we took a nap in my car. :) We were then energized for our spooky ghost tour of Alexandria. We wandered the streets, guided by candle light, and listened to "true" stories about the ghosts of Old Town. We were then abandoned in a graveyard where over 300 people are buried. Pretty Scary! We ended the night by dining at a quaint restaurant on Kings Street. I ordered the horseradish encrusted salmon over whipped potatoes, topped with lobster and a champagne and leeks sauce. Amazing!

I sent my mom on an airplane early the next morning. Her trip was short and sweet, but overflowing with wonderful memories!

The Ragnar Relay Adventure

2008-10-12T17:53:00.000-04:00

Ready... set... RUN, DRIVE, (try to) SLEEP, REPEAT

The Ragnar Relay slogan pretty much describes it all. On Sept 26-27th I participated in a 181.1 mile relay race from Cumberland, MD to Crystal City, DC. When I signed up for it, I really had no concept of what I was getting myself into. But it turned into a exhilarating adventure that I would gladly repeat!

Our team consisted of twelve people, most of whom are members of the DC2nd ward. We were then split into two vans of six people each. I was lucky to be in van 2. Not to say that van 1 wasn't equally as entertaining, but I had an amazing time with my van people (Eric, Erin, Andrew, JP, and Joseph). Van 1 started the race in Cumberland, MD at 12PM on Friday, Sept 26. We arrived at the first Van exchange at around 5:30PM. We were a little nervous but mostly excited to get started. Unfortunately, the weather wasn't ideal. It had been raining all day and there was even talk of a "tropical storm." JP, our first runner, had a tricky first leg -- around 7 miles of hills. By the time he handed off his baton (aka Ragnar Relay Slap bracelet) to Joseph it was getting dark and starting to "mist." Eric was the champion of this first set of runs, he ran 8.7 miles in the dark, in the rain, with plenty of hills.

I was most worried about my first leg. It was almost 8 miles and I would be running in the pitch black night along a river canal in the rain. I was pretty confidant that I could run the 8 miles without trouble, but I was worried about what might be lurking along that dark wooded path. Lucky for me, my amazing roommate Holli offered to ride her bike behind me, offering me a little more light and extra security. I was all set to go, but Eric's quick entrance still caught me off guard. He handed me the slap bracelet and I was off. I felt like I was a miner (headlamp and all) running in a dark tunnel. The miracle of the night was that my entire run was completely dry; not a drop of rain. Even so, the path seemed like it was never going to end. Running in the dark like that can be quick disconcerting. I learned that night that hard things do end. It was a glorious sight to see Eric and Andrew at "finish/staring line" (everyone else was in the van sleeping). Andrew was off with a flash and I took a bit to "recover." Then we were off again in the van, picking up Andrew and dropping off Erin. By the time she finished we were all excited to have our allotted time to SLEEP!

Sleep is something I did not do for the entire 24+ hours of the race. The plan to sleep was foiled a.) by the rain because we were stuffed in a mini van instead of under the stars in sleeping bags, and b.) by the fact that the second van only spent 3 hours running their legs. I thought Joseph would cry when Maria woke him up saying the had dropped off their last runner. Sigh. So without much sleep, we were off again, running in the cold rainy night.

The second set of runs were met with rain, lightning, and delirium from lack of sleep. I ran a short 3.5 mile run through the town of Fredrick, MD at 4AM! CRAZY! I was just praying there wasn't some mad rapist on the loose because I was all alone on this dark run. I made it in one piece, although somewhat wet from the rain. Our van finished around the time the sun came up. We drove to our next exchange point and tried to sleep. Impossible! (at least for me). Other people in our van were lucky to get a few hours in. But by the time we "woke up" we were still sore, tired, and wondering how we'd be able to do one more leg.

Soon enough the first van met up with us, sending JP on his last leg. Amazingly, I think our last legs were some of our finest moments. JP finished his 3.5 miler in a flash. Joesph raced a co-runner to an exciting finish, Eric ran an awesome 4 miler... etc. etc. My last leg was 5 miles long. By the time I started it was sunny, hot, and muggy. Blah! I complained that I was the only runner who didn't get to run in a downpour (hoping it would come to pass). My wishes came true, and ten minutes into my run I was drenched by the rain... like running in a shower. I finished in decent time, averaging around a 9 minute mile. My goal was to run every step of my 16.5 miles, to not stop and to not walk... and I very proud to say that I accomplished my goal!

Our entire team met up at the finish line in Crystal City to run together across the finish line with Erin, our final runner. We finished the 181.1 miles in 28 hours. We were given "good job for finishing" medals, running shirts, pizza, and a free message. I definitely took advantage of the massage! I was sore, tired... but on such an amazing high! This was an experience I will never forget. I am happy to have accomplished such a feat... but also to have spent the time with such great people is truly what made the memories amazing!

26 is better than 25, I think...

2008-10-05T10:47:00.000-04:00

When I was a little girl… I remember that being bigger and older was definitely "better." Everything from shoe sizes to height was important in this comparison. And being able to spout off the fact that you were a whole 4 1/2 months older than your friend just made you all the more special. Funny how things change. As I approached my birthday this year... I realized that now it is being younger and smaller is that is so much "better." For the most part, I have stopped this comparison game with my friends, at least so overtly. And I know that I can't change my height or shoe size, and I don't really care to, but it seems that within the culture of woman, many of us are on an unspoken quest to be "just a little bit smaller." However, this year trying to be smaller wasn't too much my concern. I was much more worried about being older.

As I approached my 26th birthday I felt like I was counting down my last days of "mid-twenties" knowing that as soon as Sept 19th rolled around, I would be one huge step closer to being 30. Ah, the wonderful age of 30. Why is this significant? Well, for those of you who are not familiar with the LDS (Mormon) Single Adult culture... when you hit 30, you have one year left to reside in the safety of a "singles ward." After that you are back in a family ward. When I told my mom this fact, she sighed with worry and said, "Oh, you have to get married before then! How will you get married if you’re not in a singles ward?" It is clear—life will end at 30 if I am not married. :) So one step closer to 30 is like one step closer to "singles ward death."

Ok, I hope you know that I am mostly kidding and I am being very dramatic. Actually, after the day came and went, I realized that I never really loved being 25 all that much. I think it is an odd age to be at. I don't know why. But when I played Barbies as a kid I never made them 25, which is significant. As soon as I turned 26 I realized that 26 is a much better age than 25. Sure it is a step closer to 30, but if it means leaving 25 behind, that is fine. So I may still think that "smaller is better", I am not too convinced that getting older is necessarily worse. I am excited for what my "late twenties" bring. And don't worry; I will definitely keep you posted. :)

PS – I had a great birthday. I got to celebrate it four times! I felt very loved!

The first celebration happened the week before, with my family in Utah. We went to a BYU football game, Los Hermanos for dinner, and then my parents surprised me with a new ipod nike! :)

The next celebration happened on my actual birthday. I had to work, so I was on campus and two of my sweet friends, Holly and Moireen took me out for lunch. Then, that night my roommates, Holli and Kellyn, took me out to dinner at a fun Caribbean restaurant in Old Town Alexandria.

The next celebration was the next day. I didn’t plan anything with all my friends on my actual birthday because another birthday party was already going on for another one of my friends. So mine was postponed for the day after. Well, Kellyn and Eric planned a great party at the Cheesecake Factory. We had a good group of 20+ to enjoy cheesecake and celebrate my birthday. It was wonderful to be surrounded by great friends.

The final celebration happened a week later. My sweet friend Rachel decided to plan a little dessert night in my honor. She made an amazing chocolate cake from scratch and invited “the girls.” It just so happened to be Hunter’s birthday on that day, so we invited him to join in as well. So it was Hunter and the girls celebrating my birthday (again). Loved it!

PPS – after so many delicious “celebrations” I should probably start thinking about ‘getting smaller’ after all. :)

Here we go again...

2008-09-08T23:05:00.000-04:00

Well... I am back in the thick of it again... and it is only the second week of school. Even though this year I have a lot more on my plate than last year, I feel more hopeful about what lies before me. Perhaps it is because I have a better idea of what to expect. Maybe it is because I am now accustomed to life as a graduate student. Or, it could be that the thought of graduation in May is such a delightful proposition that it gives me motivation to press forward. Whatever it may be... I just hope I survive. Here is an idea of my life:

Things to do in the next two semesters:
1. write a thesis
2. defend a thesis
3. get approx. 250 "therapy hours"
4. finish two semesters of coursework
5. present at the AAMFT conference

In the meantime I hope to...
1. stay sane
2. have some fun
3. continue singing with the National Philharmonic Chorus
4. run an 183 mile relay race
5. see the sights of Washington DC
6. go to NYC a few more times
7. figure out what to do with my life
8. find "Mr. Right"
9. get married
10. have a beautiful family!

(I suppose a few of the above are not possible in the next two semesters... but hey, I can dream right!?) :)

Approaching a New School Year...

2008-09-01T13:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I like playing the "what was I doing this time last year?" game. I was thinking about this today at church. It was around this time last year that I graduated from BYU, had just quit my job at the MTC, and got on an airplane destined for Washington DC. I remember feeling a mixture of sadness and excitement as I embarked on this new phase of my "journey in life". Little did I know how crazy-hard it was going to be, living out "in the world" on my own. I really thought that although there would be challenges I would be able to handle anything, being the "returned missionary" that I was.

Life in Maryland quickly taught me that living far away from home is a lot different than working as a missionary far away from home. As a missionary, it felt like I was able to take a little piece of that "Utah/BYU bubble" with me. In contrast, as a mere graduate student living on my own in Maryland... I felt like I was shoved hard out of my "bubble" into the realities of "the world." Although I was able to adjust to "cultural" differences pretty well, I am now very much aware of how different we "Mormons" are to the rest of the world. Some days it was a positive experience to have my lifestyle juxtaposed to those of other classmates because this brought out questions and conversations about the church and the gospel. But other days it felt like I was on a battle ground fighting all alone.

The most challenging aspect of my new life on the east coast has been dealing with things that have been taught in my "couples and family therapy" program (notice the recent name change from "marriage" to "couples"). For me, in many instances the "truth" has been turned on its head in some of my classes. For me, this was painfully obvious in our "sex therapy" class. I walked out of class several times, refused to do some readings, and even began a little side list in my notebook called "lies" (or misunderstandings) so I could not be persuaded by them. Some included, "your body is your own so do what you want with it," "if it feels good, then it is good," "its all about pleasuring yourself" etc. (I won't go on, but these were the mild ones). The scripture that says evil will be had for good and good for evil... definitely came true at times in some of my classes. And unfortunately I have felt it wear on my spirit.

To combat it, I have done a lot of praying, reading in the scriptures, and studying of the scholarly work by LDS family therapists in hopes to be reminded of "the truth." I am especially grateful for the family proclamation. That document is entirely inspired by God. Perhaps at one time I saw these words as merely "sensible" guidelines that most people agree with. On my mission it was a very tame, non-confrontational way to introduce the church. In contrast, in my department of family science (of all places), I still hesitate to bring this document to the attention of my fellow students. Mostly because I fear it will be ridiculed. It seems like just about every oppositional point to those sacred doctrine has been presented as "scientific facts" in my classes.

It is no surprise that "science" has begun to prove its validity. The other day my professor told be about a "breakthrough study" about what makes a family "happy and healthy." The results were the following four things: 1. there is a leader of the family 2. the family participates in family rituals 3. the family practices their shared religion 4. there is an outside network of support. The way I interpret this is, 1. priesthood leader at the head of the family 2. the family participates in family prayer, family home evening, and other wholesome activities 3. the gospel of Jesus Christ is at the center of their home, and 4. beyond the family, they have the support of church leaders, ward members, and extended family supporting them. :) What a blessing it is to have a living prophet and modern day revelation.

So I know that all my "trials" are for my growth and welfare. And looking back through this year, I recognize my struggles, but I also can see my progress. I have learned how much the Lord loves all his children, in all circumstances. I have seen how God answers my prayers and the prayers of others. I can testify with more assurance that living the commandments of God brings greater happiness and peace. And I know with more certainty that this is the true church of Jesus Christ. I look back on the girl I was when I arrived and see how I have grown up this year. I see that I am an adult now (at least most of the time). I see how I have been tried and tested and how even though it feels like I have been personally slammed with the "winds and mighty storms of the adversary", His promise is real, that "He (she) that buildeth upon this rock shall never fall" (D&C 50:44). I look forward to this next year with anticipation of what it holds, and a little trepidation knowing how many more challenges lay before me. But, I am entering this year with more trust and confidence in the Lord, that He will be at my side and see me through.

I ran 6 miles today!

2008-08-30T17:53:00.000-04:00

A few months ago a girl in my ward asked me if I liked to run. I replied in the affirmative, thinking that perhaps she was looking for a running buddy. A few minutes later she had recruited me to be on her team for a relay race in September. So that day the training began. I did not realize at the time (nor have I yet to fully comprehend) what I have gotten myself into.

The race is called "The Ragnar Relay Race of Washington DC" and it goes from Sept 25 to Sept 26. Yep, that is right, the race lasts two days. Why, might you ask? Well, it is not because we are slow runners... but because we are running 183 miles! The race starts in West Virginia and ends up in Washington DC. It is kinda exciting to think that we will be running through at least three states! I say "we" because there are twelve of us on the team. So each of us will be running three legs of the race, of differing distances. My "legs" are a total of 16.1 miles! I will run 7 miles on my first leg, 3 on the next, and 5 on the last leg, with 6-8 hours in between to rest. That is like running a 10K, a 5K and an 8K in less than 48 hours. Crazy. So needless to say, I will be doing a lot of running between now and then. But training is going well. This morning I woke up early and ran 6 miles. It was a glorious run... without stopping... I did it in under an hour (58 minutes to be exact). This is good for me. :) It was incredibly humid, though... I was literally dripping when I came in. That's what ya get for living in a swamp, eh?

Summer update

2008-08-24T16:27:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I have a week left of summer! I remember when I was a kid, the summers seemed endless. But now that I am all "grown up" the summers FLY by. At least this one did. It is apparent, by my lack of blog entries, that this summer was full of great times. So, in honor of the season, and knowing that once the semester starts I REALLY won't have blogging time, I have decided to give you some highlights of my first summer in Washington DC.

But, first... let's start in UTAH! :) At the end of June and the beginning of July I took a 10 day trip home to Utah. It was a much needed break and a wonderful trip. The best part of all was to spend the time with my entire family. It has been over two years since we have all been together, and it will be another two years until we are together again, so we did all we could to soak up as much family time as we could get! Beyond "just being together" bliss... we did a lot of fun things. Here are some of the highlights:

So, after my big trip, I got back to "life." I finished up my summer class in mid-July. But I definitely wasn't bored after it ended. I worked in the Center for Healthy Families (the clinic on UMD's campus) as a therapist all summer. I have officially passed the halfway mark for the number of therapy hours I have to get before I graduate. So that is exciting. In addition to work in the clinic, I have been working two part time jobs as web page developer for the department of nutrition and for one of my family science professors. I have enjoyed being able to work from home at a job that isn't too tedious and at times kinda fun. It is a huge blessing to have a way to earn a little extra money (especially the way my student loans are piling up). So I was working a lot this summer, but I managed to find some time to play. Some of my favorite summer activities have been:

1. The Screen on the Green (outdoor movies)
2. Old Town Alexandria
3. Baseball game at Camden Yards in Baltimore
4. "going out to eat" at different ethnic restaurants
5. swimming in my pool
6. reading lots of books
7. shopping at farmer's markets
8. watching Hamlet in the park
9. International Cinema on the green
10. Jazz and Greek food in the sculpture garden in DC
11. "hiking" Great Falls
12. "training" for my relay race
13. beach time (Duck beach and Topsail Island)
14. playing ultimate Frisbee in front of the capitol building in DC
15. watching the Olympics

My list could go on and on. But to sum it up. It has been a pretty great summer. It gives me hope for life after graduation. I just hope I can survive this next year! :)

Getting Lost = A Long Run

2008-07-15T12:27:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up early and it was such a beautiful day for a run, I couldn't resist. In Maryland it seems that there are many beautiful days, from the inside looking out. However, as soon as you step outside to enjoy that glorious sunshine... you are reminded that we live in a swamp. Well... at least some days it sure feels like it. :) But today the air was cool and not too humid. I set out for my run with the intention to run as far as I could without stopping. I surprised myself when today I easily ran past my usual point of pausing for air. I just kept right on running. Soon I was in uncharted territory... well... more like, I didn't know where I was going. I knew roughly where I was, but I didn't know if I the road I was on would connect with my destination. So I just kept on running. It was a better alternative than stopping or walking. As you can tell on the map above, I was doing pretty well running along a straight path... then I got a little lost... encountered a little obstacle (not being able to cross the 495), and finally after winding through some neighborhoods I made it back on course and ran all the way home. The moral of this story... if you'd like to run for a long time, get lost. You'll be to distracted by trying to figure out how to get home that you'll forget how long you've been running or how your feet are getting sore, or how sweaty you are. I am sure there is some gospel lesson we can learn from this. There always is when it comes to running. I'll have to think about this one.

Duck Beach

2008-06-16T00:42:00.000-04:00

For those of you who might not be aware, every year on Memorial Day weekend, there is a migration to the Outer Banks in North Carolina by young single (Mormon) adults. This is by no means an official church sponsored activity, but it gets more popular every year. Apparently it has been getting so big that city and church leaders plan for the flood of Mormons each year. Even though everyone calls it "Duck Beach" -- we actually stayed in Corolla and played on a beach called Whalehead. Oh well.

We arrived on Saturday morning (after driving 5 hours from DC). We were exhausted, but ready to play. Saturday included a beach volleyball tournament, swimming in the ocean and soaking up as much sun as we could get. (Unless you are a redhead... then you soak up as much sun as will make it through a filter of SPF 30). Saturday night we got settled in our darling beach house, hosted by my friend Niki, and ate a delicious dinner. Later that night we headed over to one of the many beach house parties. Victoria's party was down the street and was amazing, complete with a steel drum band. We left early, but we heard the cops come to send everyone home. Apparently there were too many people in the house.

Sunday was wonderful. We attended church at a small branch in Nags Head. The branch building was filled to capacity, every room had "Duck beach" goers. One speaker noted that the elders had prepared over 650 cups for the sacrament. Church was great... and as we left a local police man was out directing our traffic. Maybe this Mormon migration is a bigger deal to the Outer Banks than I thought. While some people in our house had a mad bacce ball tournament, I took a wonderful nap. Then Kellyn and I headed to the beach to listen to a fireside. It was so much fun to sing hymns, learn of Christ, and behold the beautiful creations of our Heavenly Father. What a wonderful Sabbath Day activity. Later I found a lonely spot on the beach and got some scripture study in. That night we played games, talked, played the guitar, and hunted for crabs in the dark.

Monday was another beach filled day. Eric and I started off with an early morning job along the beach. We kept going and going and before we knew it, we had run four miles. Go us! The beach was great... I went swimming and then played ultimate Frisbee. Before I got sunburned, we headed back to the house to relax. That night a bunch of us took a stroll down the lane to a nearby lighthouse to watch the sunset. Absolutely beautiful! The Monday night Duck beach tradition is for the Mormons to take over a local Karaoke bar. Although none of us were drinking, we seemed to be having more fun than anyone else. All I can say was that place was hopping... and I don't think we shared the stage.

Tuesday began with another run along the beach. Then we went exploring and found the remains of an old ship. It was quite fun to dig in the sand a bit. We got in plenty of beach time this day too, but by now a lot of people were heading home. Tuesday night after dinner we went to the local DQ and got blizzards. Then we played bacce ball on the beach until it was too dark to see the balls. We then sat out under the stars and talked for awhile then we watched "Jane Ere" (by this point there was only one male left in the house).

Wednesday morning we got up early to see the sun rise, but unfortunately it was overcast. The weather was cold and wet until we left that afternoon. But we had a nice time relaxing in our beach house. The ride home was full of fun... mostly girl talk and Broadway sing a longs.

All in all... it was a super fun weekend. Check out the sideshow of some of the highlights!

Garden Fun in the Sun

2008-06-08T00:19:00.000-04:00

I love the spring. Isn't it amazing to see the world transform in a matter of days from gray to green. One of God's miracles! Anyway, a few weeks ago I went to a Public Health Fair at a local school with the dean of the department. She wanted me there as a translator because of the high numbers of Latinos in the area. (I didn't need to be there, everyone spoke English). But it was one of those ways to earn points with the woman who will potentially determine my financial future in the program next year. As part of the fair festivities we got a tour of a community garden, sponsored by (I think) the University of Maryland. It was a lovely garden with flowers and vegetables. The idea was that people could work in the garden and earn tickets they could then spend in the local farmers market to purchase the food they had helped harvest. People could even rent a plot for $10 to grow a garden of their own. It was a very earth friendly idea. I laughed to myself how amazed everyone was by all the plants. I have never seen anyone so excited to see little green strawberries growing on a strawberry plant. Some of these people really have no idea where their food comes from, beyond what they see at the local Whole Foods. When we were there I watched one girl get down and dirty pulling weeds. I never thought I would ever say this... but I was jealous. So, later that week I told my friend Heather about how exciting gardens can be. I told her all about how I grew up with gardens and what a shame it is that no one grows their own food. I also told her that on my mission, as a welfare missionary, I had the opportunity to teach families about how to become more self sufficient by planting and harvesting their own food in square foot gardens. Heather got really excited by this idea and asked me if I would help her build a garden. I jumped at the chance. That week, Heather told some of her friends about this project. I guess they all got excited about it too and asked if I would teach a workshop on how to garden. I was thrilled. How fun! So, in preparation, Heather and I built a square foot garden, to be the example (and to make sure we knew what we were doing). So here is the step by step process:

1. Prepare the ground. Heather's back yard was full of roots and grass. So instead of taking hours tilling and preparing the soil that was probably toxic anyway... we placed cardboard on the ground to make the floor of our gardens. It is biodegradable, and will keep the weeds out, for the most part.

2. Build a square foot box. Heather and Tyler bought 8 foot boards and got them cut in half at the store to make 4'x4' boxes. Tyler was our builder. Thank goodness he helped out... this is the part I really had no idea how to do. He worked his magic with the drill and screws and built some pretty great looking boxes.

3. Position the boxes over the cardboard and fill with a mixture of compost, peat moss, vermiculite, mulch, and other goodies plants enjoy. We learned that it takes a lot more dirt than you think to fill one of these boxes.
4. Stir all the soils together and smooth it out nicely.
5. Create 1' square boxes. For each foot along the boards, we placed a nail, then laced string through, connecting on the other end creating 16 one foot boxes.
6. Planting is by far the funnest part of the experience. You get your hands dirty and you make your garden beautiful.
We planted peppers, tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, zucchini, cucumbers, and I think thats all, but I could be missing something. Now we just have to wait and let things grow.
For more information about square foot gardening see: http://www.squarefootgardening.com/html/body_how_to___.html

A Spring Day in the National Arboretum

2008-05-04T15:06:00.000-04:00

It was a beautiful spring day... perfect for a picnic and a stroll around the National Arboretum. The flowers were lovely, the air was warm, a light breeze was blowing... perfect season for allergies. Although I did have a few sniffles and sneezes, they didn't ruin the day or the pictures. Enjoy!

ramblings about love...

2008-05-03T01:11:00.000-04:00

I am a therapist in training and my expertise will be in relationships. Right now I am learning about the in's and out's of family, sibling, parental, and spousal relationships (to list a few). I am learning that the very essence of who we are and who we become is influenced very much by our relationships. I am still learning, but to me, the glue that seems to bind all these relationships together is (or at least should be) LOVE. Some might argue that this is true in an ideal world, but in our world where the "hearts of men shall fail them"... it might be more accurate to say the only tie that bind family relationships together is blood.

Whether or not this is true, one could argue against this theory when it comes the marital relationships. These are those that are formed by choice and thus more able to connect and disconnect the thread that binds them together. So then, what is it that holds together and first inspired that bond? Is it safe for me now to attribute this bond to LOVE? I daresay, some might still disagree, but I feel a majority would concur that LOVE is key. Then, if I am to be an "expert" on Love and how it binds two people together in marriage and family, I feel I need to figure out what is this mysterious thing called LOVE.

Ironically, LOVE is a topic rarely addressed or discussed in my marriage and relationship classes in graduate school. I wonder if this is the case because our focus is so often on relationships in peril. Or perhaps is LOVE a somewhat taboo topic, at least in the classroom. Much like the topic of God, LOVE is often left out of the circles of "scientific" conversation. Perhaps this is due to its nature. Like God, the evidence of LOVE is often intangible and incomprehensible, thus limiting the scientist's ability to empirically test its reality. Then maybe there remains a feeling of skepticism that LOVE truly exists as an entity but instead is a category of physiological events caused by external stimuli.

I wonder then if I must take off my "scientist hat" to truly understand LOVE. Is it to be discovered in the arts or the humanities, both disciplines that allow the mind to reach beyond the understanding of the physical/natural world? Or is the only way one can truly understand LOVE is to experience it on an individual level? Then the question remains, like God, in order to experience the joy of LOVE, does it require belief?

Just some thoughts... perhaps to be continued. Any ideas what LOVE is... let me know. :)

A Weekend in NYC

2008-04-06T19:20:00.000-04:00

One of the perks of living in Washington DC is that you live only a few hours away from New York City! At the tail end of my spring break, a few of my friends and I decided to take a quick trip to the Big Apple to sample the best city life in the country. We took the DC2NY bus, which for $40 gave us all the luxury a bus can offer -- soft seats, water bottles, movies, and wi-fi internet. It took about four hours to get into the city... which was fine because we needed about four hours to plan every second of our less than 72 hour trip to NYC.

We bought New York City Passes... which were a great investment... because they got us into just about everything and we got to cut to the front of the lines. So, even though we were short on time, we weren't short on fun adventures. Here are some of our fun moments in NYC:
Kate, Annalee and I decided that we needed to sample a New York Cheesecake. We finally got around to it at 1am on Saturday night. Most places were closed, so we were lucky to find this random place off of time square. The store owner said he'd give us a special deal and sell us a slice for $6.95. Is that expensive? Oh well... the cheesecake was pretty delicious.
Here I am around Time Square, a few blocks from our hotel. We were wandering around at 11pm and as you can see... the streets are still packed with people! Truly the city that never sleeps.
One fun splurge was going to Phantom of the Opera on Broadway! What more could you ask for? Eh? Well... how about $26 tickets! Yep! That's right! (Ok... so we didn't exactly get seats... we paid $26 to stand in the back... but hey, that's better than $150 full price... plus some seats opened up at intermission and so we got to enjoy half of the show sitting down).
Annalee and I are having a little too much fun in the Ancient American exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. We were pretty exhausted by this point, so we didn't spend too much time here.

Have you ever seen "You've Got Mail"? Well, I have only seen it once. But Annalee is an avid Meg Ryan fan and has practically memorized the film. Well, apparently this little hot dog shop made it's debut in that film. Fun stuff. I just enjoyed the two yummy hot dogs and papaya smoothie for $3.50 while Annalee and Kate quoted lines from the movie.
It was a beautiful day to get lost in Central Park... so that is just what we did. Don't worry, we weren't lost long.
When we went to Battery Park to see the Statue of Liberty we got tickets (from our NYC pass) to go on a boat to get close to the monument. Well... when we saw the four mile line stretching across the park to get on the boat, we opted to sell our tickets and watch the statue from a distance. Lucky for Kate that she had an extra $12 in her pocket because after she took this picture with "lady liberty" she had to pay $5. Nothing is free in NYC.

As fun as tourist sites and museums were... I enjoyed just being apart of this amazing city for a few days. It was amazing!
Here we are on the top of the Empire State building. And you guessed it... Annalee and Kate were quoting another beloved Meg Ryan film... Sleepless in Seattle.

Two of the most moving places we went to were on Sunday. After church we visited "Ground Zero" -- the resting place of the World Trade Centers. It was very appropriate in my mind to visit this place were so many lost their lives on Easter Sunday. Although it was very difficult for me to comprehend the horror of this disaster and even harder to come to terms with the fact that so many were killed... I felt peace in knowing that Jesus Christ paid the ultimate price so that all mankind, including the thousands who perished on 9/11 will live again, in perfect immortal bodies. As I left the memorial museum I felt sick and pained by the sinful acts of a handful of people. But our next stop was a place of peace and beauty, the Manhattan Temple. This temple is quite a site to see, amidst the hustle and noise of the city. As soon as we entered the doors, it felt like we have come safely home. What a blessing to have temples so that we can feel the peace of the spirit and gain an understanding of the majesty of His plan of mercy.

Our NYC pass got us $10 off (per day) at Planet Hollywood... a deal we couldn't pass us. So, on Saturday night we sat down at our table and the waitress eagerly told us that tonight we would meet celebrities for the "Jonas Brothers" were on their way. We all looked at each other and said, "who?" Actually, I think I heard of them being on an episode of "Hannah Montana"... but oh well. Everyone else was excited and screamy... so Kate and I jumped up and took some pictures. Who knows... maybe someday they will be famous enough for us to care. In the meantime, it was fun to have a celeb moment in NYC.

Look who else I ran into in NYC... Mr. Bush himself. :) I thought I would have a nice little chat about the politics of Fruit Heights. I mentioned that I was the mayor's daughter, and he was impressed.
Annalee and I were dead tired after running from museum to tourist attraction. So we decided to plop down on these nice warm rocks in the middle of Central Park. Kate was eager to get moving, so we told her to pretend we were models and to take our pictures. That kept her distracted for two seconds... and then we were on the move again.

Lady Liberty... in the palm of my hand!

Annalee found us a pretty inexpensive room for two nights (it cost $515 total). It was in a great location... just a few blocks away from Time Square. But ... it was old and a little run down. But it was fun, it reminded me of a hotel I slept in when I was in Romania. But, it was perfect after a long day of walking when all we wanted was a bed. Another fun (and free) stop we made was in the famous Macy's Department Store. Around this time of year they have a special Spring Flowers Exhibit. Basically the entire store is covered with beautiful fresh flowers. This pictures doesn't do it justice... it was beautiful and smelled fantastic. What fun!

Recharge my batteries...

2008-02-10T19:13:00.001-05:00

I think one of the reasons I am not very good at keeping my blog up to date is that I think each entry needs to be interesting and creative. But, I guess blogs also serve the function of keeping friends and family informed about the goings ons of my life on the east coast. So, at the risk of not being exciting or creative, I will do just that. :)

I am two weeks into spring term now and feeling pretty good about life. I am much busier this semester (more demanding clients, more demanding professors, and more clients... who usually aren't too demanding). Even so, I feel much more grounded this time around and so I am actually enjoying my experiences. I think this may be due to a short trip I took to Utah between spring and winter terms. I finished my final in my Addictions and Trauma course and within a few hours I was on the road to the airport to see my family in Utah. I was most excited to see my little sister Amy, who had recently returned from her mission in Argentina. 18 months is a ridiculous amount of time for sisters to be apart... so we had a lot of girl time to catch up on. She jumped right back into the thick of life a few days after arriving in Utah. She moved to Provo, bought new clothes, started her classes at BYU... and went on four dates on her FIRST weekend back. (I don't think I went on a date for three months!) ;) Anyway, after spending a day with my parents in Fruit Heights, I zipped down to my beloved P-town to spend time with Amy! When we finally met each other... it was as if she never left!

So, I had to take advantage of "the best snow on earth" while I was in Utah, so Matt and Dad and I hit the slopes at Sundance Ski Resort. The snow was incredible... and we were all half dead by the end of the day. I was pleased to report that I skied black diamonds most of the day.

Friday was my day to pretend I was a BYU student again. I had to meet with a fellow grad student in the psych department to talk about publishing my thesis. So I loaded up my backpack and walked with Amy up to campus. It may seem silly... but I loved just being on BYU's campus. It is just so glorious! :) I did all of my favorite BYUish things. I went to lunch with Matt at the Skyroom cafe (he paid with his Dining Plus meal plan of course!). Then I spent the 2:00 hour in the Madsen Recital Hall with Concert choir for a personal concert of their program. Although the music was stunning... I would have given my right arm to be standing there singing with them. After I dropped by my home away from home, the Harold B Lee Library to visit with Amy and her new friend, who happens to be an elder I taught in the MTC. Then I went to the MTC and spent a few hours pretending to be an investigator in the TRC. Again, if only I could have worked at the MTC forever. Sign. That evening Amy and I went on a date, with each other, to the BYU Winter Choralfest. It was absolutely just what my soul needed... I am not exaggerating to say that their music filled me with light. I didn't leave Provo without visiting some of my dear friends... Lauren, Kevin, Lexie, and Anthony. I even made it to a viewing of a Spanish film in the International Cinema. :) I am such a nerd. I wish I had had more time to visit more of my friends... I will have to plan my trip in June a little bit better. ;)

The rest of my trip I spent at home with my family. I listened to my sweet sister's talk and testimony in church on Sunday, which was just amazing. I love to see how the Lord will mold and refine his missionaries as they trust him and put themselves in his hands. Amy was pretty amazing before her mission, but after 18 months in the service of the Lord, she was practically celestial. :) That evening was a joy to visit with friends and family. Of course, we had to have a impromptu family musical concert. This usually starts with Grandma begging me to sing... and then before you know it everyone has joined it. I love it!

I managed to just barely fly away from Utah as a super intense blizzard moved in. In the few minutes I was sitting on the runway I saw blue skies change to a whiteout! Crazy Utah weather! :) All in all... my trip to Utah was a breath of fresh air. It was just what I needed to remind me of who I am and why I decided to go to grad school. But also, it was lovely to feel such an outpouring of love and spirit from my friends and family and from the Lord. It recharged my batteries. I just hope that I can make the charge last until I return in June!

Chionophobia- Fear of snow.

2008-02-02T22:45:00.001-05:00

Chionophobia: A clinical term for the fear (phobia) of snow.

Symptoms may include, but are not limited to, the following:

heavy breathing and a cold sweat at the sight of a flurry
closing your office or clinic hours early because you can no longer see the grass
closing schools because of a snow forecast
driving 10 miles an hour on the freeway during or after a light snow fall
calling your friends to warn them of how awful the conditions are and that how if they don't leave work soon and go home they might die (with less than an inch on the ground).
if in class, instead of occasionally glancing at the snowy weather outside the window, you raise your hand and ask in a panic when the class will be dismissed

Interestingly this phobia is common in cities where snow fall is usually light during the winter (e.g., Maryland). The best treatment is called exposure therapy (e.g., exposing them to "real" winter weather in states like Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, or in extreme cases Alaska). It is also recommended, though not necessary, to teach the client how to drive in such inclement weather, not so much to reduce the phobia symptoms, but for the sanity of the other drivers.

For the rest of us who enjoy beautiful snowy days... happy winter!
PS The above information was not the result of any scientific data. In case you were wondering.

The life of a grad student...

2007-12-16T19:17:00.000-05:00

(me and my cute roommates at the DC temple)

I am sitting on my couch in front of a beautiful warm fire (in our fireplace) and listening to the wind howl outside. I can't believe that I am one final away from completing my first semester in graduate school. I think my lack of blog entries is a good indication of how busy this semester has been. I looked back at my last entry and remembered how stressful my first couple weeks in Maryland was. Life is more comfortable now, but no less intense. I am hoping that I will be able to get some serious relaxation time for my meager week and a half Christmas break.

To give you an update from the last time I wrote... I finally bought a bed and furniture, which is alway a plus. I bought a car... a silver Mazda 3i 2004... which was such a relief and blessing to have! It was like handing me freedom to function like a competent adult again. And I am finally getting the hang of life as a grad student. I decided early on that I would not be able to continue with my usual style of studying -- diligently reading each word of (almost) everything assigned to me. This is impossible. I think I was assigned to read a new book every other week for every class. So, I am getting a lot of practice speed reading or making a "when I have time" reading list. But, with all the work... there are always interesting things to learn that apply directly to what I am doing in the clinic. Yep... that's right... I am doing therapy!

I began seeing my first client in early October. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be, funny thing was that it reminded me a lot of missionary work (except we can't teach the gospel... ). I was assigned a senior as a co-therapist so that I wouldn't make any big mistakes.... so yep, I feel like a greenie jr. comp. I am learning a lot about the basics of therapy and about people in general. I would tell you more about my clients... but I can't break confidentiality.... besides... you probably don't want to know the things I hear in session. ;) Currently I have five or six clients, three of which speak Spanish. This equates to around 7-8 hours of therapy a week. A part-time therapist will usually take no more than 10 hours a week. So -- I am basically working two part-time jobs (as a therapist, and as a research assistant), AND I am a full time graduate student (13 credits = 13 hours a week). SO, when you add commute time, hours spent doing homework and readings, and church time... there is not much time left for things like... oh, sleeping, cooking, having a social life.. etc. :) I am starting to get used to it though... but, from what the seniors say... this is just the beginning.

I have managed to squeeze in some time for me. I auditioned for a semi-professional choir called "The National Philharmonic Chorus" http://www.nationalphilharmonic.org/philharmonicchorale.htm -- and I made it! The conductor said that the choir was full... but he wanted my voice so they would make room. :) He also said that the best singers come from BYU. I didn't disagree. Singing for three hours each Tuesday night has been a sort of oasis for me. We performed Beethoven's Missa Solemnis in November and we are rehearsing Handle's Messiah for Christmas. Another oasis for me has been my church. I am so grateful to be able to attend each Sunday and feel rejuvenated and renewed by the Spirit. I love the members of my singles ward. The average age is around 24-26 and most of the members are graduate students, law/medical students, or young professionals. I amazed by how ambitious and talented everyone seems to be. Responses like, "I am a nuclear physicist" or "I work on capitol hill as an attorney for a senator" or "I am an interior designer for Marriott" are not unusual in the "get to know you" conversations. I know that some of you are wondering about the dating scene.... So far, so good. Even though I have been busy with classes... I have managed to squeeze in some dating time on weekends.... but no proposals or rings or anything crazy like that. Sorry mom. ;) It is funny that marriage is the last thing on my mind, even though it is the topic of all my classes. :) ... well... it isn't the last thing on my mind... but I am trying to be happy being single. :) In the meantime I love getting everyone else's wedding invites and putting them up on my 'fridge.

Well.... That is all for now. I will try to be more diligent with blog entries. I will add it to my list of new year's resolutions!

Merry Christmas!
(the picture is of my cohort.... my family away from home)

The first day of grad school without a notebook

2007-08-31T22:25:00.000-04:00

With an air of “I can handle this” I waltzed into my Stats 645 class on my first day of graduate school. Even though I had arrived late, I sat down at the front of the class. For some odd reason I had an attitude that I was all over this higher education thing. As the professor talked faster and faster I began to reconsider my attitude. I looked around and realized everyone else had text books and were busily scratching down notes in their new notebooks. Then it was as if a light bulb came on... “Wait a second, today is the first day of class… and I didn’t even bring a notebook.” It felt like a mild version of that dream you have of coming to class on the first day, feeling like you’ve forgotten something, looking around, you realize that is was your pants. Well, it wasn’t that bad. But I did feel suddenly unprepared. For the past four years of my undergraduate education “the first day of class” was almost a sacred day. I would buy all my text books, binders, pencils, school clothes, and even spend time picking out the fat five subject notebook that would be THE notebook of the semester. The night before class I would eagerly choose the perfect “first day of school outfit” and hardly be able to sleep in anticipation. This year was different. It wasn’t until I was halfway to campus that my roommate reminded me that “hey, this is our first day of graduate school.” But this didn’t sink in until this moment in my stats class. How I could I have let this happen, how could I be in my first grad course without even a notebook? Well, let me explain a little about my first week in Maryland.

Two weeks ago greeted Maryland with slight trepidation due to the fact that I had no idea where I would live. My housing search started in April, but to no success. Thankfully my cousin Kristi let me stay with her. Well actually, I think I became that guest who just never leaves. We found a nice townhouse in a beautiful neighborhood in Rockville, but we couldn’t move in until Sept 3. So in the meantime, I had fun learning about the life of a mom and playing with Kristi’s darling little girls. After a week I moved to Alexandria to my new roommate’s apartment. All I had was a small bag of clothes and a box of Cheez-its. I slept on a blow-up couch in a room with moldy walls for a week (but I was grateful for the place to stay). The most difficult part of this situation was that I had no mode of transportation. Not having a car meant I was at the whim of everyone else’s schedules and lives. In addition our commute to campus was now an hour each way. So it would be as if I lived at home in Fruit Heights and I commuted to Provo every day. INSANE! In addition… I was stressed about finding a car, buying it, and getting it registered, getting a new bank account, figuring out my tuition craziness, working hours for my assistantship, buying textbooks, registering for classes, making good first impressions with professors, making new friends, not getting lost on campus… etc. etc. So, with all this stress and everything ELSE that was going on in my mind… I guess it is understandable that I completely forgot about the first day of school. Don’t worry, the next day I went to the bookstore and picked out a nice new notebook with the University of Maryland logo on the front… ready for a great semester. (Whew… I hope I survive!)

Why I want to go to graduate school:

2007-08-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

This fall I will be packing up and moving from my beloved home and family here in Utah to move to Washington DC to attend the University of Maryland. Although I have gotten a lot of support, I feel that many of my friends and family still don't understand why I would live so far away and pay so much money for a graduate education. I hope those of you who know me well will not be surprised to know that I am not doing this for the prestige of a degree or the salary increase upon graduation or even because I just "don't have anything better to do". I have included below my letter of intent that I submitted to the University of Maryland (the university I plan to attend) to explain a little more of why I want to go to grad school. Disclaimer: this letter is not cushioned in anyway, everything I say I sincerely mean.

The thought came like a punch in the stomach. As I traveled in a WWII era train across the Romanian countryside I realized that I could never ‘save the world’, no matter how hard I tried. I had just spent four difficult months with dozens of abandoned infants in efforts to make dramatic changes, but I was leaving the country much as I had found it. Although restrictions inhibited me to quantitatively measure the children’s improvement, I had witnessed incredible changes. Although insignificant to some, it was miraculous to me when Dumitru, a two year old, who had never left his crib, took his first step, or when Ana Maria, a one year old with severe attachment disorder, finally trusted me enough to look me in the eyes. In very important ways the lives of these children had changed and it humbled me to realize that my efforts facilitated this change. Romania brought me face to face with some harsh realities of life, and made me more determined to dedicate my life to alleviate some of this pain, even if it be for one orphaned child at a time.

I further defined my “desire to help” from the broad field of psychology to Marriage and Family Therapy while volunteering in Venezuela as a missionary for my church. During a span of eighteen months I had the opportunity to teach many families the principles of temporal welfare such as finance, food storage, employment and family wellness, in efforts to help them become more self-sufficient. When I met Jose and Yelizta Perez, they were struggling to feed their children. Although lessons on budgeting and employment helped, the most dramatic changes came once they altered their perspectives on their roles in the marriage. I helped facilitate a much needed conversation where they were able to address their expectations of each other. Today, because they work together as a team, rather than in the roles of a boss and a servant, their lives have improved both monetarily and emotionally. This experience and others reiterated for me the importance of a healthy family for not only the individual, but for society.

Although it may be difficult at times, I know it is possible to have a healthy family because I enjoy such a relationship. I grew up in a small town, thirty minutes outside of Salt Lake City, with a family of five children and happily married parents. Although we have our struggles, we are committed to each other and have strengthened our bonds of friendship and love. My parents are very supportive of my educational endeavors, even though I will be the first in my family to pursue graduate education. I realize how rare it is in this world to have grown up without abuse, neglect, or divorce and I consider it a blessing. I want to be able to help others know that it is possible and important to have a healthy happy family. I believe that one who has much, whether it is knowledge, money, or talents, has the duty to share it with others. Because I have been blessed with opportunities, education, and the blessing of a healthy family, I feel a responsibility to share what I have been given with other families.

In order to become an effective instrument of aid, I have sought educational experiences in and out of the classroom. My undergraduate education in psychology at Brigham Young University has been full of rich opportunities for self-discovery and preparation for graduate studies at a large, diverse institution such as the University of Maryland. Beyond the regular requirements for undergraduate education, I have done research with several professors, and even conducted research of my own. I am currently assisting Dr. Patrick Steffen with his research regarding the link between heart conditions and immigration. I work almost exclusively with the Hispanic participants because of my fluency in Spanish. Thanks to several classes and research experiences with Dr. Brent D. Slife, Ph.D., I am more fully aware of my own perspectives and am able to understand and critically analyze the underlying assumptions of psychology. His writing on relational ontology has played a role in my decision to continue my education in Marriage and Family Therapy. I am currently writing my honors thesis under his mentorship regarding a theistic perspective in psychotherapy. As an honors graduate, I will complete and defended this thesis. Other aspects of the honors distinction include attending cultural events, reading great works of literature and writing about them, and compiling a portfolio of my work as an undergraduate.

In addition to the academics, I have dedicated over a year to teaching Spanish to youth from around the world at the Missionary Training Center in Provo. I love teaching and I hope to have the opportunity to teach as a graduate student teaching assistant at the University of Maryland. Developing my talents in the arts has been a priority to me and I am pleased that the University of Maryland has a prestigious school of music. I have been a member of the BYU Concert Choir for four years (currently serving as vice president) and will graduate with a minor in music. Many rewarding experiences have helped me prepare for the field of Marriage and Family Therapy as well better define my career goals.

I am pursing a graduate education at the University of Maryland to gain the necessary education and experience to become a licensed practitioner who specializes in family and couple therapy. I am impressed by the University of Maryland’s focus on counseling work and providing opportunities for excellent clinical training with a diverse population. Due to the years I spent abroad, I am interested in continuing to work with people from diverse cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds. I also hope to be involved in helping families on an international level, perhaps working for the government or a non-profit organization in support of the family, which makes the close proximity of the campus to our nation’s capital ideal.

In addition to therapy, I also hope to continue my training in research methods in order to be both a consumer and contributor of published research. I am pleased that the University of Maryland not only provides the opportunity to write a Master’s thesis, but that it is located near some of the greatest libraries in the country to facilitate such research. I am interested in doing research based on theories of relational ontology. I believe that human relationships can facilitate our greatest joys but also our deepest sorrows. I would love to study more deeply marital relationships, courting relationships, and parent child relationships. I am also interested in continuing my research regarding the integration of spirituality in therapy. I enjoy critically analyzing current theories and perspectives and unpacking their implications, but am interested in seeing how these theories can be implemented in practice and therapy.

When I said goodbye to my kids in Romania, my heart ached with the uncertainty of where these kids would end up. I wanted for them a loving family but that was beyond my power to give. For a reason I cannot explain, I have been brought up in a loving family and have been given the opportunities for an excellent education. There are others, young and old, who are also suffering because of poor or non-existent family environments. I know how valuable the family is and I promised myself that I would live to not only raise and love my own children, but help and teach others how to find the joy that only familiar relationships can bring. Although my efforts thus far have not changed the world at large, they may have changed the world for twenty kids in Romania or a family in Venezuela. My hope is that with more education and training at the University of Maryland I will be able to continue to help many more.

2007-07-08T17:24:00.000-04:00

The musical WICKED is basically what brought us to Chicago. But we soon found out that the windy city had lots of exciting things to offer. This family vacation, we Stevensons felt more like the average American family than ever: Mom, Dad, a brother, and a sister. No more stares. No more people counting or asking, "are they ALL yours?" Although missed the other three, we managed to have a lot of fun, while strengthening and building our family relationships. This is evident in the fact that although Matt and I are over 8 years apart, we have never been closer. :)

Our vacation started early Monday morning with a flight out of Salt Lake City into Chicago. We rented a SUV and drove to Six-Flags Great America where we enjoyed the sticky heat, the crowds, and the nausea that comes from one too many coaster. We actually had a blast! Matt and I ran from coaster to coaster... I rode coasters until I honestly couldn't take it anymore... and there were still coasters left to ride. The best was called the Deja Vu -- the tallest and fastest of its kind! Check it out: http://www.sixflags.com/greatAmerica/rides/Deja_Vu.aspx

The next day we drove to Chicago, stopping at the beautiful LDS temple. We checked into our hotel, tasted the Chicago style deep dish pizza, and then got to our room just in time for an intense downpour! Lucky for us, the skies cleared in time for the CUBS game at Wrigley Field. The CUBS ended up beating Colorado in quite an exciting game.

On Wednesday we took a architectural tour of the city on a boat. Chicago is a very tall and architecturally interesting city. Later that day we spent some time time in the city's aquarium. Matt and I made friend with a really big water snake... if forgot what they are called. That night we got all dressed up for a night out on the town. We ate dinner at a restaurant called "Weber Grill" -- it was scrumptious. I had something call beer can chicken. After filling out tummies we walked a half dozen blocks to the Oriental theater where we experienced "Wicked". Fantastic!

New and Improved?

2007-04-26T16:00:00.000-04:00

I don't know how this crazy idea crept into my head. Just this past Sunday I was talking with some of my friends (the majority were guys) about how pretty long hair is for girls. I remember thinking, "well, I am glad I have long hair...I love it!" Little did I know then that in less than 72 hours from that day I would have little less than 7 inches of hair left!

Actually... the first time I thought of cutting my hair was when I ran into my friends Becca and Anthony in the HFAC one day. Anthony told me how Becca was about to chop off 12 inches of her beautiful hair to donate to charity. I remember Anthony warning (or pleading) me, "don't ever cut YOUR hair." Although I admired Becca for her courage and charity, I decided that I would not be cutting my hair any time soon. I liked my long hair.

2007-04-26T15:50:00.000-04:00

As you can see... I recently changed my mind. (yep... those are scissors in my hand).

After Becca cut off her hair, she looked absolutely fantastic. A few weeks later my friend Amanda chopped off her hair as well. She looked amazing as well. I wasn't that I felt the need to do what everyone else seemed to be doing, but these great results sparked a new interest in short hair.

When I was offered a free hair consultation and hair cut by Lee Henson, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. Lee gave me some great ideas about new looks of different lengths that would highlight my features. Even though I felt cutting five inches would be a dramatic enough change, He suggested that I could absolutely pull of a short and sassy look. At first I was a little hesitant. In fact, after I talked to Lee I couldn't sleep because I was stewing over cutting off my hair.However, one thing kept pressing in my mind... the opportunity to donate my hair to charity. It may sound like a silly thing to do, but there are many organizations (i.e. Locks for Love, Wigs for Kids etc.) that accept donated hair to make wigs and hair pieces for children and teens who are suffering from cancer. I kept thinking to myself... "If I am going to cut off quite a bit of my hair for a 'new look,' why not cut off a bit more so that a child with cancer might also benefit?" When I reminded myself... that my hair will grow back... I made up my mind to hack off this red mane of mine. :)

The first big CHOP

2007-04-26T15:45:00.000-04:00

For all of you who are dying to chop your long hair off...
let me tell you how it is done.

First you mildly freak out at the thought of cutting your flowing tresses...

Second have to you decide how much you want to cut off. In order to donate it to Locks of Love or Wigs for Kids you need to give at least a foot of hair (but they like more).

(Here Lee is measuring out 14 inches. He didn't show me how much he cut off until after the fact. Thank goodness... I think I would have thrown up or something if he had...)

Third, take a deep breath, close your eyes... and saw off that pony tail -- kinda like an appendage

(Lee asked me if I wanted to cut it off myself... I told him that there was no way I could bring myself to do it... so he had to do the task...)

Fourth: You have to survey the damage.... and try not to cry.

(actually, by this point you feel a sort of rush of adrenaline when you realize 'well... its gone... and there is nothing you can do about it now... so why not have fun')

Time to Style

2007-04-26T15:15:00.000-04:00

Now comes the FUN part --
making it cute and sassy!

Here Lee is showing me how to style my less than 7 inch hair! It is very versatile... I can part it on the left side on day... on the right side another day... pull it up with cute clippys... even do a zigzag part... the possibilities seem endless (but they actually do end where my short hair ends).

It took me less than 12 minutes to dry and style my short new hairdoo. (I think it looks the best from the back.)

With all that hair gone... it felt like my hair was in a pony tail (off my shoulders) except without all the weight of that hair... it was actually quite liberating.

Although... it is too bad that you can't just glue that hair back on when you have days "I want long hair" days. Oh well. This pony tail will be apart of a cute little wig for someone who lost a lot more hair than I did. :)

The finished product

2007-04-26T15:00:00.000-04:00

YAY for Short HAIR!

So... even though I cut off 14 inches of my hair... this smile is real. There were no tears. It was actually quite a thrilling experience. I don't think I will regret it... although it was a little sad to put away my curlers knowing that I won't have the luxury of long copper curls for a good long while. But oh well... in the mean time I am going to have lots of fun with my short look.

And as Dad reminded me... (quoting O'Henry's Gift of the Magi) "It grows awful fast..."